RUN REPORT – DECEMBER 16
FORESTVILLE~CENTREPOINT & PEEDUB
A whole new song sheet set us in motion at Forestville Park, as Centrepoint and PeeDub constructed a run using a map with instructions, that earlier in the day served as someone’s mum’s shopping list (especially confusing for Trailmaster Moishe who writes out his own shopping list these days): Start at the top of Currie Road, get turmeric, cardamon, head for some unknown creek (Main Creek, Ed.) get eggs, milk, check back and confound S-Bends, Baron v Drut, Payling and Simmo at some track (Natural Bridge track, Ed.), that reminds me, we’re out of muesli and yoghurt.
Next: send walkers, including Calici, just back from uni-cycling Laos, but not on his own, Bumcrackand Frenchie, past the muesli sign, better get some sunflower seeds, too, to a bit of a creek (Bates Creek, Ed.) track and have runners, Flying Scotsman and the Sweet Smell of Little Shit, join them and cross Bate Creek hmmm whitebait, better get some for hubby, to eat, not to use on his next phishing expedition, traverse the spine of another track (could only be MagazineTrack, Ed.), avoiding the staples..oh yes, copy of New Idea with free Christmas pork chop recipe.
After that: direct Kitty and Music past Forestville Retirement Village oh yes we really must see gran’ this weekend, and Mr Neat and Changi chasing the first-out-of-the-starting-gates legend,Grape..who, regrettably was never seen again. Runners and walkers, Tyre Fruck and Duckweave(spotted re-enacting Gallipoli’s Simpson and his donkey dance steps, and discussing the relative merits of all the Simpsons including the Centrepoint variety, the Homer kind, Mrs Royal Simpson and the Simpson dessert kind..think we’ll also need chocolate mousse and ice cream)..all returned along the Great Nosh track and along Currie..ahh, of course, must have some Coriander. Smiley looked freshly pressed at the bucket, dressed in a freshly pressed-by-Faith track suit—no, not by Wanker–which meant he had no time to actually run… but he did have a moment or two to devour some–all?–unidentified nibbles, leaving only the richly red Heinz 57 Varieties sauce, possibly ketchup or even catsup, for the remaining pack to slurp.
Carrying on like a pork chop was the OnOn barbecue on heat, preparing, with the help of Chefs Jungleand Pilko, gourmet variety..pork chops.. with splendid murphys, and Greek salad. The OnOn continued with all the Shits jostling to sit together..White Shitmas, E watch this space Shit, and Shit of aThousand Shits, er Shirts. In a successful effort to secure free down downs, injuries were sustained by Goanna, PeeDub, and Moishe who stayed to enjoy them.
Humor of outstanding quality that generated not a few laffs, was dispensed by Duckweave, Frenchie, Kitty, PeeDub (is this Poshman ubiquitous or is he everywhere?), and Honorary Poshman Daddy Long Legs (Denise Elder).
DaddyLL had earlier generously provided a comprehensive education on when and how and on whom to use the defib. (see more below). When DLL had called for a volunteer from the amassed 30 Poshmen,Kitty quickly undressed and threw himself up onto the examination table. Having opened his deep throat (all the better to breathe through) and felt his chest being depressed by 30%, 30 times, to the tune of Stayin’ Alive, he was soon hoist into his own petard, and urged to redress. Next, the hairy Wombatpresented his chest for a fondle, hoping for a quick crack, back and sack. But no, the best that could be promised was a shave of the two chest positions for the defib electrodes, but ONLY if he were having a heart attack. Disappointed he retired..well, and handed over to Wrapp who tried throwing himself to the ground for some rough and tumble. He too retired, bruised but happy. Now we all know so much more than we did before…huge thanks to Denise. [For a valuable reminder of all we learned see the attached instructions].
Jungle Jim demonstrated the use of the oxygen bottle which is housed in the trailer. This is NOT to be used where the defib is required. If you feel a little peaky, off colour, poorly ill, sick, pale, crook, pinched,wan, sickly, unwell, emaciated, under the weather, in poor shape, like death warmed up, green about the gills, peelie-wally (Scot.); if Smiley asks “Are you feeling all right? And says You look a little peaky”,after the run, or even before, see Jungle or one of the hares for a blast of O2.