“THE WEATHER WAS AS BAD THIS WEEK AS I PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WAS LAST WEEK,AND I MAYBE WOULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS AS BAD LAST WEEK AS IT WAS, IF I HAD KNOWN HOW BAD IT WOULD BE THIS WEEK”
Someone said the inclement weather was all Try-A-Duck’s fault because he had trodden on the only Haggis at the Coles Supermarket last Friday. Not only did that stuff up the Haggis and Mashed Swede Menu but the Scottish Haggis Importer has placed a curse on the Hash Summer Runs for the rest of the Summer. Summer ? What does that word mean ?
Be that as it may, in very trying circumstances, inspite of the Curse, the Hares carved out an interesting Run in an area which is notoriously boggy. Taking off from the Scout Camp after Doggy Bag had called the dogs off, the Pack headed for the high ground and virtually stayed there. The High Ground had numerous rocks and drops that Major Disaster(naturally) and The French Concoction found to their peril. Elsewhere amongst in the area, it was thought the plaintive cries coming from a deep drop amongst the rocks could have been cries of distress from the Warbying Bird. This was completely discounted when he arrived back later is a little group headed by Captain Fizz and Music Man. Also in this select Group was Voetsak appearing after many moons away in London. One most unkind individual in the Group said after Voetsak’s sojourn in London, he now spoke with a Cockney as well an Afrikaans accent. Regardless of all that nonsense, it was good to see him back again to put on a Run with a dose of Biltong and Sudza.
And despite advanced “Leech Warnings”, with Jack the Ripper offering long socks and leech proof underpants for hire, and The Committee standing by with barrels of salt, The ESP Bookie was the only one reported to have made it onto the Leech List. Obviously he was travelling so slowly that the little bugger had plenty of time to leap onto him.
The Run coughed up a number of interesting features. Salted Pretzel arrived back early in the company of Hanoi of all people, with the most improbable story of the year. This year, or any other. SP had outpaced the other Runners, got lost and landed on the Walker’s Trail, with Hanoi the solitary walker in sight. Hanoi then engaged the unfortunate Salted Pretzel in a long involved scientific expose on “Why Apples turn brown when they are being eaten”. Being a polite sort of chap, SP couldn’t bear to tear himself away and get back to the business of running. By the time he had explained to the astonished Hanoi, that the apple turned brown when he was eating it because he talked more than he ate, it was with profound great relief he found himself back at the Bucket. Early. It was also interesting to note that Darwin carries that stick not to help him over the difficult bits, but to beat off the bastards who are trying to overtake him when he sprints to the Bucket.
And so it was on to the On On. The Flying Scotman was so distraught by the absence of the Haggis that he abandooned his kilt and the “H” in Hamish and strutted around as an Amish for the evening in an extraordinary getup.
With the Haggis and Mashed Swedes taking a dive, fortunately Pee Dub stepped into the breach to produce yet another of his gastronomic delights. It is at this point that we should turn over the Report to the Doyen of Haute Cusine, Carefree to comment.
MEMORABLE MOMENTS
“I thought the “Saumon au gross el et tous les legumes frais”, served up last week was outstanding” he said.” And one salad that Pee Dub put together a couple of weeks ago was particularly memorable, and would have made the Moochers envious”. Carefree went on, “if I recall rightly, it was a delightful “courgette a la fleur et truffes” and to top it off, the selection of wines Basket Pressed has been coming up with have been exceptional. He obviously knows the right people in the right places in the Wine Industry,” Carefree concluded.
So there you are. As Harold MacMillan said many years ago, “You’ve never had it so good”.