Wanderers – 10th Anniversary
A large number of the Posh of some 30+ strong including Tooth Fairy , S Bends, Darwin (on the prowl), E Shit , Wally Grout ( venturing out again from his “Manly” cave) , G3 Virginus Illegetimus , Capitalist Socialist Boxkite and Changi had gathered in the car park of Bicentennial Park at West Pymble obviously attracted by the prospect of snagging a desperate North Shore Wanderer or Harriette plus partaking in the consumption of the highly anticipated gourmet food on offer as negotiated by the NSWH3.
The Prodigal sons comprising of President Pee Dub, Tic Toc, Music Man, LCL and Yakkity Yak had returned from their Mekong Hash experience in Chiang Rai, although it was reported that President Pee Dub had taken a different Root home via Phuket leaving Jungle Jim, Calici Virus and Scotsman languishing somewhere on a Thai bike (that’s a bicycle in case you were wondering). The Harriettes together with the Thirsty Hash, North Shore Wanderers and Posh Hash totalling nearly 80 runners gathered in a circle to here President and Hare, Running Bare welcomed the other Hashes and explained that he was there to lead the pack out of the wilderness and if we saw a well-marked trail we were on the wrong trail (which later proved to be true!).
With the battle cry ”Bless this Hash”, “Rain no Piss on us”, “Sewer Pipes no leak on us”
and “May we all get layed tonight”, the pack was off into the West Pymble Bush. About 100m after the start the trail split ; runners left and walkers right – as usual Cinders, Moishe, Kitty Litter, Spud( in reconnaissance mode) and the irrepressible Changi were off quick as a flash , while the predictable walkers of Khyber, Tyre Fruck, Wombat (friskier post Canada) and the French Connection were chasing the ever decreasing arrows. Surprisingly Grape and Goonshow took to the walker’s trail obviously tracking the unsuspecting fairer sex as running is their normal style. Grape was rabbiting on to Goonshow about the U1 German submarine and was in total denial that a Frenchman
was the father designer of that pioneering sub (read the newsletter Grape). Saltpetre, was following close behind the walkers, and found a spring in his step as he led to the front.
The trail was twisting turning, up and down as pack made its way to the far off port stop with Scud being in most earnest pursuit of the red nectar. However Moishe was there first and proceeded to quickly chat up the beautiful Mexican Maria with her naïve boyfriend Manuel obviously unaware of Moishe’s womanising reputation. Meanwhile Scud was tucking into the marshmallows (too good to refuse) together with his second glass of Port as Tic Toc, fresh from his Thai adventures arrived on the scene soon to be out muscled by E Shit with more unabashed stories about his next trip to conquer the elite of European sailing (watch out for the next E Shit instalment hitting the bookstores soon!).
Surprisingly, even arrows were in the minority the pack arrived at the park shelter to the prospect of drinking warm beer (haven’t they heard of pre-chilling in the upper North Shore). Changi without his red wrist band (a $25 touch) was mingling unnoticed into the
crowd scoffing whatever was available later to join forces with Grape for a far superior top Nosh at Ryde (wise move Changi!!). To celebrate the 10 years there many NSWH3 down downs for the 4 founders of Running Bare, Hard On, Rats Nuts and KeeTee chorused by numerous hash songs sung by the 50 or so at the bucket. Of course the newsletter could not but mention the outrageous grandstanding of E Shit who just happened to bring his son’s Porsche 911 convertible Turbo S – there it was in full view of the pack as they wandered back to the bowling club for the evening’s festivities. But to E Shit’s surprise the pack just walked past thinking he was just another Porsche wanker.
But Darwin came to the rescue and humoured E Shit – “Hey E Shit” said Darwin; “you have such an impressive a car , I would really love a ride in your beautiful car” even though no-one cares a shit, E Shit was grateful for the adulation by Darwin. You can no doubt hear Darwin’s words – “is he kidding! I am just making him feel important”. The pack headed back to the bowling club for what they thought would be sumptuous gourmet food
As they headed up they passed a new magnificent sports centre which was recently organised by the new Federal Liberal minister – no problem pork barrelling your
electorate that will always elect you!
The bowling club catering department , obviously thought they were on a $ winner by serving up Woolworths + high Cholesterol gourmet finger food plus Sarah Lee cake for a health kicker – now the Posh appreciates the committees $25 deal including high quality Little Shit personally selected wines. In true Posh Style, President Pee Dub got the party going with some classic Pee Dub jokes followed by Tic Toc’s joke – After much badgering by his wife, a doctor confessed to his wife about his past sex life wife – slowly he revealed the past indiscretions – “then there was 1, 2,pause 3 ,4 slight pause, 5, 6, pause 7 pause 8 and then you dear “– followed by a long pregnant pause “ then there was 9,10” and applause – well done Tickers. Then it was Hand Job’s turn to take the floor “Aussie guy, let’s call him Pee Dub, is on business in Hong Kong – as usual he was feeling horny that night; Pee Dub looked up the directory for a women of the night. He made the call and then about 10 minutes later” knock knock on the door” and the hostess arrived – she asked in her Asian English voice – “ Wot you vant – head job?, blow job?” – Pee Dub says “how about a 69!”. The Asian chick exclaims highly offended “69!!!!- “ “Bugger that mate, I am not going to cook you broccoli and black bean sauce as well as give you sex””.
Note – all characters are purely fictitious and bear no resemblance to the truth. So ends the Epistle. Thanks Posh for supporting the NBH3 – the future is nigh for up and coming younger hashes.
Your Hash Journey – Summary of Run 2471 (thanks Your Choice)
Distance: 7.15km
Elevation gain: 85m
Calories burnt: 646C
