SYDNEY HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
Rippers Run Report 11th March 2019 Run 2699
Gentlemen, Threatening skies held off for another fine nite. St Ives Showground is a wonderful venue, redolent with history of the Great Sydney Inter-Hash 30 years ago where 12 runs all finished simultaneously in a heaving mass of humanity and testosterone. Lurch set all 12 runs and he came along tonite to pay homage to his amazing achievement.
Back to the pre-bucket bucket. It was reported that more than 10 athletes refrained from leaving the bucket in case it rained or their cat was sick or ….! Our Hares Copraphilia, Flying Scrotum and Cinderella were in their prime, extolling the virtues of the run to the assembled throng. Copra declared it “one of the most fantastic runs you’ve ever seen”. When asked had he seen it ? he said about 16 times ! credibility problem ?.
Your hairs, foto bombed by Darwin Don (Gyppo parachuted in) This is where the bucketeers should have gone. These must certainly be the most detailed run maps and instructions in Hash history. Every Hare should study them.
If we had a Van Gogh and Ernest Hemingway Award for Run maps and instructions, this entry would be the Gold Star. And Cinders in his precise way has had them audited, and their BAS and tax returns have also been completed And some fascinating places along the way, Phantom Falls, Whipbird Gully, Billys Bridge, Tree Fern Gully Falls and the Kuringai Wildflower Gardens. Scud liked the run, though he found the steps back up difficult, aside from that he said it was a perfect length. Lurch slipped on some pine needles and exited stage right. The On On Rosie, a close friend of Lightning’s who has a Thai restaurant at Terry Hills, delivered truly delicious pelican pudding and native quoll wings, with more rice and crackers than Lightnings horses could finish the next day.
Where’s Dogface when you need him ? The meal was served however it was known that some were not yet in … The above, usual suspects, came in very late and wet, very sweaty wet. On the left is visitor David, (hope he returns) And at 8.10 quietly joining the crowd were Lightning and Goanna. Just proves : you can still get lost with the best maps. “Not lost they said !” There was plenty of food for the late comers and still seconds. Tic Toc finished his meal before we went home !
Down Downs : – Hares – Copra, Cinders and Flying Scotsman – Jungle Jim & Wee Willy for their raid on unsuspecting kiwis. – – Captain Bligh for driving an old car to the run – Scud with his new “Casanova” hair do -Goonshow for extolling the virtues of socialism but holidaying in yuppy Byron Bay- the home of the rich & famous!
A welcome back to visitors David & Frank and great to see Lurch 2 weeks in a row plus Grape back in the fold again! Birthday Down Downs for : Music Man, Your Choice and Ayatollah Sick Parade : – Mr Neat isn’t so neat at the moment, but he’s got a long chance. – XXXX isn’t great either, he’s a bit of a clot
Next Weeks Run 18th March 2019 Run 2700
When 5.30 Be early to register and collect your shirt Note your shirt will be a Collectors Item to be worn with pride for years to come. (Some Hashmen will not wear theirs to preserve them for their grandchildren) Your shirt has the artwork of a legend, Tic Toc and from the china factories of Le Petit Merde. We are truly fortunate to have such talent and capability amongst us. Where : 3 Grattan Close French’s Forest
On On On Sec
Coming Events : Full Moon HHH Run 331 at 4:30 pm Hare: Next Week and All Fours Time: 4:30 p.m. Date: Sunday 24th March, 2019 Start: Car Park near to Naremburn Pizzeria 300 Willoughby Road, Naremburn
For anyone who cant sleep, try this : Major Disasters run report of 2nd January 2012 This is what happens to Hon Secs over time… memorial distortion and use of capitals.
Subject: MONDAY NIGHT’S SOMETHING TO DESCRIBE IT AS A MONUMENTAL FUCK-UP WOULD BE A GROSS DIS-SERVICE TO MONUMENTAL FUCK-UPS OF THE PAST STRETCHING ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOSES. THINGS STARTED TO UNRAVEL EARLY IN THE PIECE. SALTY IMMEDIATELY RECOGNISED THE PROBLEM AND TOOK OFF TO CHECK WITH THE HARE, THE CROOK CHOOK, WHO HAD BOOKED HIMSELF INTO EITHER THE LOCAL RETIREMENT VILLAGE OR THE LADY DAVIDSON HOSPITAL. ONLY MOMENTARILY IT WAS HOPED, LEAVING THE WANDERING TRIBES TO KEEP WONDERING. LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES, THE PACK, RUNNERS, WALKERS AND CRIPPLES, SIMPLY SCATTERED. NATURALLY MAJOR DISASTER WAS A SPECIAL CASE. POLITENESS PREVENTS ME FROM SAYING HE HAS SOME SORT OF CONTAGIOUS SOCIAL DISEASE OR SUFFERS FROM EXTREME FLATULATION. BE THAT AS IT MAY, OTHER RUNNERS, WALKERS AND ASSORTED CRIPPLES GENERALLY AVOID HIM AND HEAD IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. MONDAY WAS NO EXCEPTION. ALL ALONE, NATURALLY FOLLOWING TRAIL, HE CAME TO A CHECK BACK ALONGSIDE THE RIVER, BUT HIS SHARP EYES SAW FURTHER ARROWS BEYOND THE CHECK BACK, LEADING TO ……”FUCK-ME” YET ANOTHER CHECK BACK !! WITH THE RIVER ON ONE SIDE AND A STEEP CLIFFS AND ACCOMPANYING BUSH STRETCHING EVER UPWARDS ON THE OTHER, TO HOPEFULLY GO ON SEEMED TO BE THE BEST OPTION. BUT THERE WAS NO TRAIL FURTHER ON, OR EVEN FURTHER THAN THAT. TO CLIMB UPWARDS AND HOPE FOR BETTER THINGS HAD NOW BECOME THE BEST OPTION, SEEING THAT IT WAS NOW APPROACHING EIGHT O’CLOCK AND DARKNESS WAS CLOSE AT HAND. HOWEVER ! SOMETHING ELSE, NO, SOMEONE ELSE WAS CLOSE AT HAND. IT WAS “MOSES” PEDANTIC, COMPLETE WITH GUIDE DOG, WHO HAD ARRIVED TO LEAD HIM OUT OF THE WILDERNESS. “COME DOWN MAJOR”, THE ENLIGHTEN ONE CALLED, “I KNOW THE WAY OUT OF HERE, ABOUT ONE “K” FURTHER ON, WE WILL HIT A FIRE TRAIL WHICH TAKES US HOME”. THE DOUBTING MAJOR LOOKED AT THE ENLIGHTEN ONE AND THEN THE GUIDE DOG, AND THE DOG NODDED. SO OFF THE THREE SET. AFTER ABOUT HALF AN HOUR, MAJOR D WAS INFORMED IT COULD BE TWO K…. APPROACHING NINE O’CLOCK IT HAD STRETCHED TO TWO AND A HALF K, MEANWHILE THE GUIDE DOG HAD GIVEN UP AND GONE HOME. WHAT EVER TRAIL EXISTED, WAS PROBABLE JUST A BARE STRIP WASHED BY THE HIGH TIDE, NOW STREWN WITH FALLED TIMBER BUT THE ENLIGHTENED ONE PLUNGED ON, “NOT MUCH FURTHER”, IT WAS AFTER NINE, AND MAJOR STUMBLED ON SILENTLY VOWING NEVER TO WRITE ANOTHER ILLUMINATING STORY ABOUT PEDANTIC’S EXPLOITS, MEANWHILE PEDANTIC ALSO COMPLETELY LOST, STOPPED EVERY SO OFTEN TO CALL UPON DIVINE INTERVENTION OR THE GUIDE DOG FOR ASSISTANCE, MAJOR WASN’T SURE WHICH. -JUST DIVINE INTERVENTION DID INDEED RESPOND WHEN SUMMONED AND APPEARED OUT OF THE DARNESS IN THE SHAPE OF MONSIEUR LE TIC AND HIS GAFFER, GOANA. ARMED WITH HIS TRUSTY PHONE CUM CAMERA CUM TORCH, MONSIEUR LE TIC RESCUED THE FORLORN PAIR AND GUIDED THEM UP TO BOBBIN ROAD. MILES FROM ANY WHERE BUT AT LEAST ON THE ROAD TOWARDS HOME AT LAST. THE FINAL PART PLAYED IN THIS UNFORTUNATE SAGA WAS SUPPLIED BY “JUNK MAIL” WHO VERY GRACIOUSLY DROVE DOWN THE STEEP, WINDING ROAD TO GIVE THEM A LIFT BACK HOME. IT IS NOT KNOWN WHETHER THE GUIDE DOG ENJOYED THE CURRY AT THE ON ON. THE LEACH LADEN-ED MAJOR DIDN’T STOP TO FIND OUT BUT HEADED HOME FOR THE SALT CELLAR, Still awake ? C U AT THE 2700th