IT WAS THE FIRST SUMMER RUN – Joint Run organised by the North Shore Wanderers at Mashman Park Victoria Ave Chatswood.
Google Earth : Run 2310
WASN’T IT ?!
Having spent half the Winter Runs aimlessly stumbling along bush trails briefly illuminated by the flash of a floodlight, we naturally spent the first Summer Run pounding the pavements in broad daylight, whilst wandering aimlessly around downtown Chatswood.
It was advertised as Joint Run, however most of the Posh chose to stay at home and have a private smoke and a red wine. They missed out on a reasonable Run although it was generally poorly marked.
Last Chance Louie had told the Not Sure Wanderers that we were a Mixed Hash, meaning by mixed there Old and Very Old members, although this was not made clear. The aged nature of the Posh did have unexpected consequences as will later be revealed.
The Wanderers themselves, came in all shapes and size with Females runners low on the ground. One of them took a shine to Pedantic. This small rat-like creature had the beguiling name of “The Wild Weasel”. She said she like older men as she stared admiringly up at him. It took Pedantic all the Walk, that at one stage became a half run, as he tried unsuccessfully to shake her off. It was only after plying her with drink and pushing her under the table, only then was he able flee to the safely of Last Chance Louie car, missing out on the dinner.
Most were envious of his success but he said there are limits.
Hopefully we will hit the Bush next week. Pedantic for one will be relieved by that thought.
SOMEONE COULD BE IN THE SHIT OVER THIS.
Just a Post Script to last week, Petit Merde emphatically denies fleeing from the dark people at Chippendale. He said his alleged indecent haste was due to his need to get to the airport to catch a flight to Osaka that evening.
It was reported later by an undisclosed source, Immigration officials wouldn’t let him board the flight until he had scrapped off suspiciously looking muck from his running shoes. Apparently you need a special Export Licence to send Human Excrement to Japan.
Meanwhile back at the Bucket, despite several well respected witnesses being prepared to swear, it proved to be extremely difficult to confirm the dramatic event reported actually took place. To confuse the matter even further, French Concoction had been taste testing his special concoction in the Bucket since the Pack had left, and was therefore considered to be a unreliable witness.
Further more, Petit Merde has angrily stated he is prepared to stay in Japan until his name is cleared. Last Chance Louie is currently seeking clarification regarding which one needs to be cleared, Petit Merde, Little Shit or Human Excrement.
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE
THEME for the year. To discourage the “I’M TOO OLD FOR THAT” attitude.
LAST CHANCE LOUIE, The President. After proclaiming the year’s Theme, he was quickly out of his strides to announced the setting up of an Unserviced Wives and Partners Pool.
“We understand there are some Hashmen who are possibly beyond it. Who feel they are TOO OLD FOR THAT or even IT. Who suddenly get headaches and back strains when called upon to perform and end up in the Dog House and the dog doesn’t want them either. For these unfortunates, help is at hand,” he said.
To ease the strain on these miscreants, the Committee is setting up a “Unserviced Wives and Partners Pool”, to provide origami, knitting, bingo and croquet programmes for the Unserviced Wives and Partners. Jungle Jim has been seconded as a Consultant to the Committee in a Senior Advisory Role, and will give Pee Dub a hand in checking the names and sizes of the Unserviced Wives and Partners.
PEE DUB – Tug Master and Greens. Also in charge of bookings for Unserviced Wives and Partners. Contact Pee Dub for Unserviced Wives and Partners on Special at the Hash Weak End to Manly or Wollongong later in the year.
LOST IN TRANSLATION – The Beer Baron. Last Chance Louie will supply Skinny Blondes from a back-yard family still. Jungle Jim, the Hash Consultant, can arrange the delivery of Large Brunettes for those who prefer a drop of the dark stuff.
BASKET PRESSED.- Wine. Basket Pressed a.k.a Duckweave, is in contact with a Serbian Wine Merchant who was thought to have run with the Hash in the 1970s, and is now living in Athens. Through this international contact we will be getting a stream of superior Balkan booze. Basket Press assures us it won’t include any the Greeks were throwing away prior to the Austerity Drive..
RUN-A-MUCK. – Trail Master. Will arrange plunges in Sinks, Share Markets, Toilets, Drains and Race Meetings to order.
TRY-A-FRUCK – Designated Food Coordinator. (Away till Oct 5th – to supply 70 steaks for Oct 10th On-On – will ask last years JMs how and where to sauce the meat) NOTE: In his absence, the Try-A-Fruckers have already consumed twenty of the seventy steaks.
CIRCUS MAXIMUS – Chariot Races and Special Events Coordinator (will be frequently away) Overseas locations of all the Special Events will appear in the Hash Circular the week after they have occurred.
THE FRENCH CONCOCTION – Responsible for adding it up, figuring it out and issuing IOUs. Be free to bounce any ideas or cheques off him.
MR NEAT – Assistant On Sec with Internet and related issues. (Will contact Lightning for training, passwords etc.) Spare a thought for Mr Neat, if the past year is anything to go by, there will be plenty of related issues.
MAJOR DISASTER -On Sec:- Commencing this year, with the aging state of many in the Hash, “Hares” are asked to send the location of the Start and the OnOn to Major and he will make-up the rest. This will enable us to go straight to the restaurant, and avoid wandering aimlessly around the streets or the bush getting lost, falling over or getting mugged.
Finally, a couple of messages from your President, whose open door is always closed and he is generally absent and ready to ignore your every complaint.
Firstly, a message to his Committee. “If you unable to perform, immediately seek medical advice. I am the last resort, not the first,” he said. “If you are still unable to perform, seek a Second Opinion of your special needs from Pee Dub, Booking Agent for Unserviced Wives and Partners.”
Secondly, regarding Finance. “I met with The French Concoction at St.George Bank, Chatswood last Friday with 100 points ID and arranged signatories, and drew out all the spare cash.
Frenchie will write out IOUs to JMs as a float. Tell him how big a float you want then double it, the give him the invoices so he can send you an IOU.”
“ANY PROBLEMS, I WILL BE AT THE SYDNEY OVERSEAS TERMINAL ON OCTOBER 11th, MY FLIGHT LEAVES AT 11 AM SHARP FOR THE BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS.”
NEXT WEEKS BUSH SUMMER RUN !
Monday 10th October 2011. #2311
Spud and Hoarse Whisperer
A Celebrated Venue: 53 Ingleside Road, Ingleside,
The Hoarse Whisperers Palace housing his unique, internationally famous collection of Wheel Chairs, Walking Frames and Over Toilet Assists.
Onon: On Site and – Under Cover in the NEW Dementia Depot!