The Sydney Moving HareldRUN REPORT DECEMBER 9
ST IVES SHOWGROUND~GOONSHOW & MOISHE
There are three kinds of ham in the world, and all came to celebrate the legacy of “G” and 75 Years Rashing, er Hashing
We’ve hashed St Ives Showground before but not Goonshowed it. This was a first. Sommelier Goon andTrailmaster Moishe constructed a Davy Crockett log cabin in the middle of the Ku-ring-gai Chase’s Mini Wheelie Bin Club arena. A superb On On venue (as we will see), and an excellent starting point for a challenging selection of runs. With 95 rashers, er hashers, including a good handful (in fact several handfuls) of honorary Poshmen there was a need for runs, walks, strolls and dawdles while chatting about grandkids, for all standards.
The runners, such luminaries as Pedantic, Ace, San Francisco and Plunger, plunged into Mueller Track, which according to Rommel, and confirmed by Major Disaster, is territory once used by the militia to train our troops against the evil Nazis. Jack the Ripper, usually not to be trusted with ladies, was seen shepherding none other than Zena, chaperoned by Boomerang, the three Ks, Kultured, Knokkers andKlangers with Carefree, colourfully back from the Gold Coast, and the Red Centre. Descending steeply into the Chase the hashers noted were Soulmate, Daddy Long Legs and Robbo, crossing Lambert’s Clearing, the waterfall and up the steep gradient of Solander Trail. Tiny complained of a pulled hammy (vulgar that).
The long run back past Brown Trail trapped the lovelies Maid Marion and Rancid who thought they were hambushed or suffering from hamnesia. Lost in the wilderness. Fortunately mobile telephony got them in touch with interested bystander Scud who soon called for a hambulance. But it was TM Moishe who rescued the ladies, just in time for an evening of hamateur haute cuisine. Battered, bruised, but with rueful smiles, they were at last returned to the bosom of the Hash, who to a ham, er man, admired them hugely.
The giant ham (no not Centrepoint) was carved to perfection by the Chief Ham Music himself, whileJoint Masters Pilko and Jungle, in fact the entire All-Star Committee soon had Dr Jekyll, WC, andYakkity as happy as pigs in…oh, you know… A feature of the evening were the Poshmen who dug into the depths of their wives’ drawers and located examples of the world’s first T-shirt…our very own 250th Run shirt from March 1972 (or the lookalike reproduction shirt—which?.. only their conscience would know for sure. Modelling same were Super, Philthy, Frenchie (who claimed his severely stretched number is an original..oh yeah?), Goanna, Coxbite, WC, Pedantic, Tyre Fruck, Mr Neat, Duckweave, the Major, Changi, Moishe, Wrappa and San Francisco. Most embarrassing was Shitty Liver whose shirt had just been freshly ironed—by Wanker? Dr Jekyll who has every Hash shirt ever produced resisted taking his from its cryovac wrapping—his unique collection will be left to the International T-Shirts ‘R’ Us division of the Royal Selangor Club, ‘The Dog’ Hash Institute in KL, but not soon.
Suddenly half a dozen other hams, Kitty, Scud, Jungle, Centrepoint Music and TicToc, appeared and presented to an enhamoured audience, Ghost Rashers in the Sky…climaxed with the second coming of…”G”, Gispert Grape, in person. Draped in fetching horizontal stripes like the original running man he was, “G” flew in still setting trails like in the old days of 1938 in Kuala Lumpur. Naturally he (and the high on the hog performers) were welcomed to tumultuous applause. And a magnificent commemorative chocolate cake was brought out or was that in or on. Gispert Grape was joined by the oldest still living Hashman in the World,Darwinian Don to do the honours, ie, “GG” and “DD” cut the “CC”. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon a cake for your birthday. Happy 75th!
Even more excitement: The Posh-produced Commemorative 75th Anniversary Athletic Singlet. Harriettes spent quite some time in the privacy of the queue trying on the pre-dampened singlets with Little Shit’s andWanker’ sexpertise, ensuring that these collector’s chesty bonds went only to chesty blondes.
Original humour was dispensed by PeeDub, Legless Yu de OnOn from Bali, Centrepoint, Kitty Wharf Revue anyone? Litter, Darwin Don, and Polish.
–OnOnTToc With contributions from world-wide sources, Kitty, Smiley, Carefree, Daddy Long Legs, S-Bends, and Your Choice and PissPerfect for the invaluable maps. (Good Weakend Picture album see supplement)