Run 2311 – 10th Oct 2011

THE RUN 2311 OCTOBER 10TH

Circus Maximus in his first promotion, exceeded himself with the staging of the Hash Games at the celebrated Ingleside Coliseum
Google Earth : Run 2311
The Hash were also indebted to Horse Swiper for allowing contestants to borrow his antique wheel chairs and walking frames for the “running” of the Spud Sporting Spectacular.

Flushed with his international success at the Celebrity Wheelchair Carnival in Cannes,  Goonshow easily spread-eagled the field in the Open Wheelchair event which preceded the Run. By winning he received a Presidential pardon, and was restored to being Goonshow. That is until the next time he blows a short fuse.

The Open Walking Frame event was hotly contested, and was astonishingly concluded in recorded time, with a local farmer declared the winner. But he was later disqualified when he was found to be a she. To make matter worse,  Course adjudicators reported most of the contestants had not walked but ran carrying the Walking Frames. As time didn’t permit a re-run, all were disqualified and their Seniors Cards confiscated for a week.

The Run itself tested all and sundry no more than The Commodore who has currently lost his identity. Despite searching every nook and cranny on the way round an overly long walk, he still sadly remains Sin bad the Sailor. We are not sure if there is a reward out for the recovery of Him or the identity. Whilst on the Run we did learn that with cash short and leisure time long, there is going to be a spate of applications for the Santa Jobs this Christmas. Without giving too much away, just keep an eye on who are growing beards.

Spud, the Chook Rustler, did a magnificent job in turning out a roast chook with all the trimmings for the On On   Indeed,  a great time was had by all. It was the Really First Summer Run, one which brought them all out of the wood work. Unfortunately Horse Swiper didn’t get a single offer for the yard full of whatevers and the more besides. So he has decided to paint it all green and hope the local weeds will gradually grow over it all by next year.

Look forward to a Re-Run next year. Same spot.

THE SERBIAN CONNECTION AND KYBERGATE

If you recall, in the dying days of the previous President, the Presidential Archives inadvertently disgorged some fascinating documents which had been surreptitiously passed from President to President and gone largely unknown and unread for some decades.

A past President, whose identity cannot be revealed, had taken it upon himself to destroy the files to protect the supposedly innocent as well as the guilty. Whilst he was in the process of shredding these documents, Major Disaster managed to distract his attention and purloined most of them and later underhandedly acquired the remaining ones which had been shredded.

This notorious episode in Hash history will be forever remembered as “The Kybergate Affair”.

Scanning briefly through the Files, the Goonshow/Short Fuse File makes for fascinating reading but we should start at the beginning to build a clearer picture of how the Files came into being. Whilst we will have a better idea why they originated once No Good Boyo has finished unravelling the Chop Suey shredded files, it would appear compilation commenced in the late 1980s.

It was apparently at that time, a shadowy Serbian wine merchant from Belgrade, who also dealt in gold, jewellery and was rumoured to be associated with a white slavery ring, infiltrated the Hash. At the time his Serbian accent was mistaken for a Scottish brogue, so it was by that means he acquired the Hash name of McTavish.

In 1990, McTavish, our Balkan Bacchus, became Hon Sec. and it would seem during that period he started compiling files on Hashmen, possibly as a client list for any or all of the services he was peddling.

Much later, it would appear that No Good Boyo was drawn into this web of intrigue, attracted by the stimulating conversation and the many fine wines the Vintner freely provided for the Hash at his sampling soirees.

In the weeks to come, we shall delve into the Files and bring you some of the fascinating human stories compiled about Hashmen, including of course the long anticipated Goonshow Dossier.

NEXT WEEK’S RUN PHILTHY & WALLY (IN DISGUISE)

START AND FINISH AT THE CROMAR GOLF CLUB