Darwin Don and his Cecil B. DeMille’s Cast of Thousands
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A call to arms a few days before the Big Night brought out long lost hashmen from the woodwork of the lower north shore. It was weird to see them in Terrey Hills, so far from Moocher HQ. But nonetheless it was great to see them for the night of celebrations. Even the long lost Legless showed up. However he had to wear the hash trackie uniform to convince the ‘best committee that you’ve had all year’ that he was once a real POSH hashman. Had he not done this, he would have been kicked out for “bumming around”
OK,…. so you were told a Porkie last week. We were all advised that it would be Khyber and Bumcrack setting the run. Truthfully, can you really see our BC striding out and bashing his way through the bush hoisting himself over craggy stone cliffs and unraveling miles of dunny paper on his merry way?. In the immortal words of our Hollywood hero John Wayne …….”The Hell You Can!”
Instead young Wrappa threw his hand into the fray and set out to “Boldly Go where No hashman has gone Before”. Well not quite. It’s all familiar country out there although some of it hadn’t been hashed for almost 10 years, and it’s well known that nature will quickly seize back our favourite hashing trails if not visited regularly. Like annually.
In fact the start of the run was the antithesis of a Brazilian. It was like the hairy crotch of a Middle aged, Middle Eastern woman. I once remember Jungle coming back from a prolonged business trip from that part of the world and when asked about his “hairy exploits” whilst there, he quipped “You soon get used to it, …..especially if you need it”. Prophetically spoken words they were. Indeed we soon got used to penetrating our way through to the meat of this run.
And as we did so, we burst out onto a fire Trail…the relief being palpable. And that’s when the pack settled into its stride each jogging along at their own pace.
Helll….We woz infiltrated on Monday! Although this was a POSH only event we had two Northern Beach(es) bums gate crash th eparty. Their Grand Master, Next Week and his sidekick Crumb. Both waxed lyrical about the wonders of the bush, and also running there. It beats me whey you wouldn’t do it there more often, and by way of example, it’s bloody obvious that the POSH has its priorities right.
So we all followed a series of familiar but far from exhausted or exhausting trails and we all trickled in as darkness lowered its mantle across the woodlands surrounding the golf course. Good work boys. Nicely laid in true POSH summer style.
Along the way there was a war of words..but absolutely no Aggro I’ll have you know. Not in this hash at least! No, it was a competition of velocity and verbosity. The event brought Bruce the Goose side by side with King Arthur …whose stupendous top hat was filled to the brim with more spare meaningless words than Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard could muster collectively for the all of the 9 month election hustings. And who won?? Well,….Your guess is as good as mine…but believe me you couldn’t have slipped tracing paper between the two.
Back at the Ranch…..quite literally ….the committee had set up camp in Lightning’s super-dooper big horsey dome, and early arrivals were privileged to watch the pedigree of the week going through its paces. Darwin’s Big Nine Zero Birthday plus Bum Crack’s 40th year of hashing. BC’s hashing career was not entirely with the POSH. He enjoyed a sojourn of 12 years odd with the Hong Kong mob HHHH or just H4.
The grand dining room was bedecked with red table cloths, the chefs were cheffing, at least Chastity and Fox Face were …First up the snags with bread n’ sauces n’ things….just to keep the wolves from savaging the mains, which were lamb backstraps of extraordinary quality with lots of nice salady things, plus a selection of brown and white bread rolls. Our sommelier had laid out his usual high quality offerings from the cellar which were soon snapped up.
The party had begun. Bonhomie flowed as did the jokes with….. surprise surprise Legless stealing the show with not just a joke or two but a running jocular commentary utterly upstaging poor old Pee Dub, whose scraps of paper looked more redundant than a pregnant Nun.
And let the party begin…………
SBnZZZZZZZZZ Our MC for the night then moved in introducing yet once again our revered Pressie and the world’s oldest active legendary hashman. After a few words and praises and without too much further ado the massive cake was wielded out for all to see. “90” was written in candles and when lit, the flames glowed across the horsey mega-dome.
Ahhhh haaa so will he blow all the candles out with just one puff? This question was soon answered…..a mechanical leaf blower throttled into life and with a single sweep of the machine the flames were blown into next week…and not even a trace of whispering smoke was to be seen. And there was plenty of cake for all 70 of us. The calories burned off by the run were quickly restored to our spreading waistlines.
The mega cake with the numerous candles extinguished with a single sweep of his leaf blower
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So onto Our Heroes for the Night …….
The Legendary Darwin Don……
Legend Hero Icon Grand Master El Presidento Global Elder of Hashing Entertainer
Traveller Soldier-Paratrooper Panel Beater Statistician Lover Enigma Evergreen
So mush is previously unknown about our true hero of the night. Originally from Perth our Darwin Don signed up in the AIF in 1941 for WW II and was assigned to the second eleventh 2/11 Battalion, with his first commission in Egypt. For some reason army his mates called him “Gypo”.
Returning to Australia in March 1942 (before most of us were even a twinkle in our Dads’ eyes) he joined the paratroopers where he stayed until his discharge in November 1945.
He initially forged a living as a panel beater but due to back and knee problems he gave it away. He then studied for a BA from 1959 to 1963 and became a statistician; moved to Darwin where he worked with Aborigines. It was then that he joined Darwin SH3 who adopted his army mantle of “Gypo” and this moniker stayed with him until he wisely moved to Sydney for a more varied, intellectual and stimulating life with the POSH hash. It was then that his legendary status was bestowed in the form of Darwin Don.
The Legendary Emperor Darwin Don tells us all……..?
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Bum Crack ……40 years of athletic hashing
After 40 years of athletic hashing our finely honed Bum Crack should be rightly proud of his name. After all it has connotations with all that ishighly desirable in today’s emancipated and fashion orientated world. Most especially amongst his broad minded hashing mates.
BC as we often refer to him is actually the acronym for Buttock Cleavage. This is the minor exposure of the buttocks and the inter-gluteal cleft between them, often seen because of low-slung, loose trousers or sloppy hashing running shorts. It is also most commonly known as side cleavage, sidewinders or sideboob
The crena is another formal term for the cleft between the buttocks. It may also come under “other private parts” in Australian Law, although indecency generally covers the genital area. However this depends on the eyes of the beholder…and eagle eyed hashmen when it comes to a fancy looking cleavage.
In the early 2000’s it became highly fashionable for young and middle aged hashmen and harriettes to expose their buttocks this way, often in tandem with some other parts of the nubile female body.
So who can say that our stand-in model for our famed hashing mate below is in anyway indecent or unfashionable? Far from it!! ..Would you “stand up” for her?
So stand up Bum-Crack and be proud of being the fashion trend-setter that you became so many years ago. You are to be counted as an original trail blazer and for bringing years of sheer delight to the POSH.
However, there are just 2 or 3 teeny-weeny differences between our gorgeous and voluptuous stand-in model and our beloved BC. These are Age, Gender and just a little bit of Collagen. That’s all.
Buttock Cleavage proving that he is only a pubic hair’s God knows toasting and boasting that he is hot on Darwin’s age trail
width away from looking like his stand-in model
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S-BnZZZZZZZZZ, our ever ebullient and irrepressible make believe Sommelier has treated you once
again with some of the finest wines from his personal cellar and of course being the magnanimous
bastard that he is, he’s just busting to share his wealth of knowledge on his pet subject…So on with another …..
’Wine of the Week’.
Mt Monster The Back Block Shiraz 2010
I keep saying the same words… the 2010 is a cracking vintage… boy does it
deliver! This vintage is being compared to 98 and its not hard to see why! Like
a teenager coming of age and starting to converse as opposed to grunting….
This wine will make you smile all day long. (And that is in short supply!)
Throw some of this Monster into a glass and it will reveal a deep purple colour.
A swirl or two and the vibrancy comes through; sprinkles of red brick flicker
through, dancing around under the light. A quick sniff and the aromas are lifted
dark cherry, black pepper and spice with floral notes with ripe blackberry and
plums coming together in a crescendo of flavour and aromatic heaven.
It is Limestone Coast at is fullest, and that comes through on the palate as well,
displaying the stereotypical fruit driven style that this region is famous for.
There are forest fruits coupled with spice and a touch of tannin that caresses
the sides of the mouth. These soft tannins are a great compliment to the fruit
and come to a crescendo on the finish, leaving the mouth feeling full and
satisfied with a generous finish.
Rating: 95 (High as)
Your Hash Journo