A Lord, a Bastard & a Bedouin
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The run and On-On came to you courtesy of A Lord, a Bastard & a Bedouin.
The smart (only a few) within the Hash and the numerically minded (bean counters) will be quick to work out that the run title has 3 identities but there were only 2 hares. Applause for those who guessed this.
But there is a reason and a rationale for all of this as you read on …and on, ….and on.
Firstly, as the hare’s promo stated, this winter run was to complete some unfinished business from about 2 years ago when heavy rain washed out much of Ayatollah’s run and the dark clouds blotted out the vestiges of daylight of this erstwhile autumnal escapade.
A Tip to the hares: ….never state your intention in a run promo as some memories linger-longer, and the beginning of the run was very predictable for those who memory banks still function . Having said that it was a really good winter run with lots of variety and combos that we haven’t done before. We were mostly off the streets and those who turned up without a torch for a partial summer bush run…Tough
Shit! You’se woz warned.
The evening had a distinctly British Naval theme which would make folk like Commodore Nick all warm and fuzzy inside. Except he wasn’t
there. Only one hash person, a self proclaimed literati (as he would
have anyone believe who is bothered to listen…isn’t that right Goon
Show?) was on the ball to recognise that the start and On-On venue and some of the surrounding roads (after we burst out of the bush), for the circuitous way home, were names of successful battlegrounds for the British forces in the 18th and 19th centuries.
More precisely they were Culloden, Talavera and Waterloo Roads, but none more so than that which made Lord Horatio Nelson…famed for when he whipped those pesky Spanish and French arses at Trafalgar (Place). And thus we add a ‘Lord’ to the list of identities for the night.
Continuing with the British naval theme, we have that young upstart man who “pops” in every now and then for a hash run, claims to be a hashman but never long enough to be collared for committee duties. So how appropriate is his hash name “Son of Gun”?
Although the Royal Navy had rules against it, they often turned a blind eye to some women (‘wives’ or, perish the thought, even prostitutes) joining their sailors on long voyages. Those “wives” who invariably
landed up in the family club, were sent to a sectioned off portion of the gun-deck to give birth. As a consequence any child born on board within the gun carriage area of the ship of doubtful paternity was
listed in the ship’s log as ‘Son of a Gun’. In other words “A Bastard”. That seems appropriate enough doesn’t it. But Papa Salty may have something to say about the naming of his ‘young fella’ after the true
history of this hash name has now been revealed. OK so that makes two out of three identities for the night.
And that leaves the last of the three who served up much of the run and the meal last Monday night, none other than a “Bedouin”. More commonly referred to as Ayatollah, this enigmatic hashman has all sorts of guises and aliases like; Date Trader, Fruit & Nut Man, Middle Eastern Wheeler Dealer, Turkish Delight Cavorter, and anything that is musky and exotic. In addition to his murky hash biography
published back on the 04-2013, just like all of those nomadic Middle Eastern desert dwellers, he recently picked up sticks, “mounted his camel” and moved his tent to a new lookout post called Crows Nest.
From outside in the street this abode all looks remarkably normal but as soon as one walks through the front door, well Hello,… Hello??…It has that unmistakable stamp of his early rovings through harem infested oases, (where belly buttons and bangles tickled the ears of all honored guests) Turkish baths, and the trappings of licentious weekends in far away Bedouin tents in the sand dunes. …..
But back to the run for a moment…Starting in the dark we soon slipped into urban bushland fringe and having warmed and oiled our limbs and muscles, we plunged into a good summer run’ track on the same trail “loike wot” he (The Bedouin Boy) used about 18 months ago. This was all OK for those with u-beaut torches….followed by a trip through recent memory lane across the Macquarie Uni playing fields, then through the hospital …especially to check out the latest medical facilities for our impending retirement and aging needs, and lastly a cunning set of little back lanes to home; only to find all the walkers and SCB’s having almost drained the bucket. That’s usual, but the hares were on hand to top it up, staying back… even for Tic-Toc who slipped in late thereby upholding his esteemed tradition.
Having repleted ourselves with the nourishing ginger beer shandy, we changed and smartened ourselves in readiness to have dinner at the Captain’s table …otherwise referred to as the “Mediterranean
Restaurant”.
Boy! Do those Naval Officers look after themselves a treat?!!. Nothing like the usual gruel dolloped out below the decks to those hard working deckhands and humble skivvies. Molly Meldrum’s spectacles
steamed up he was so excited with the culinary bounty, and the tucker kept coming. Salads, pasta and then pizzas and more pizzas…and more still, until the unfinished plates were passed from table to table.
The run was excellent, the On-On T’riffik and future hares should take note that Macquarie Park area offers heaps of opportunities for winter runs next season and the “Mediterranean Restaurant” should be noted for a return visit.
Your Hash Journo