The Sydney Mcmansion Hareld First Run 1967 O N O N A L W A Y S Number 2441 April 14, 2014
RUN REPORT – GLADESVILLE/ THE LONE PLUNGER
A fiery hare with the speed of light, a heavy dew and a hearty ‘Hi-Yo Silvermane’..The Lone Plunger!
From Special Correspondent TONTO* (Truly Outstanding Near The‘Orizon)
How! Lone Plunger…You heap big clever Kemosabe…you take us buck pack to Hash Happy Hunting ground and fool old and young bucks, both.
Buck pack was thinking that you will run us east to sunrise horizon, and towards white heifer corral called ‘Riverview school’ for sexy nublings, where much hunting happiness is found. When pack is happy, then down to Tarban still-water reserve for running deer. . …And then we think that you run us up to northern hills where even bigger corral is for very young bucks training, White man call this camp St. Joey’s but not much ‘saint’ there Kemosabe. Much more sin we think.
But No ….you out smart us Lone Plunger……white arrows when found take us west towards setting sun. But you thicker than buffalo shit Kemosabe. Now winter season and sun already set. We run swift like deer with Nike and Adidas moccasins through small woods and many white man tracks, what you call roads, past plenty Big Big palaces stuck to ground. White man not smart Kemosabe. When he get tired of view, not like tepee, stuck palace cannot be moved.
We run through many small green spaces, what you call parks, and west on to big open space we call “3 Fish, 2 Eel love breeding ground”. Fork tongue white Council man, he clear all hiding shrubs and re-name it Kissing Point Park. No need for name change, Kemosabe.
Once I have happy young squaw there, Me Very happy Kemosabe. She called 90 cents, ……Why?. Because she always found under a buck.
Super Buck run like the wind. Me think he either has shits and need to go very very soon, or he have heap big thirst.
Funny Buck also called Goon Buck, he not so fast. Plenty more spoken words than run, typical white man, but him funny and friendly and keep buck pack entertained on long trail. But him also stupid like deer spoor. When him shown clever short tracking by Chang Buck, Goon Buck go long way, get moccasins wet in long grass and grumble later.
At last we run like wind past your Lone Plunger HQ, Kemosabe. We think your squaw will serve small glasses of fire water, but your squaw no like rain either, so we keep running tired like wounded deer and head for Buck pack Bucket. Much liquid happiness in buck well.
Heap Big Thanks Kemosabe…from your faithful Injun Side-kick, Tonto aka Beaver Cleaver Heaver*
And now, we’ll pick up with what’s left, that is but a pool of WD-40 after The Lone Plunger left his Injun running (tnx Kitty for that old chestnut, though not even close to Silver). The gladly happy Gladesville Rissole had hoped for a big night with 40 Rain-ger soaked Poshmen squelching into their fine dining room..but was not to be. Nepalese was the go, where the hot and sweaty Poshers Gorked at the hot and sweaty true-to-type no-vegies Nepalese cuisine was presented. Calici, who an earlier life used to collect road-kill off the Pacific Highway and sell it to the Chatswood Toyota canteen, is an old Nepalese trapper. But no road-kill in Nepal. No roads. But there are lovely indigenous ingredients, beautifully prepared as at the Gorkha Hut, er Palace. For example, rockefort cheese, stoned crows, rock melon, stone fruit, and rock cakes, of course. And boogers tandoori. Great for vegans. (Actually CV is off to Burma again this week, honing his driving skills for the forthcoming Shitbox Rally across the outback west to Darwin with Jungle—look out fellow Shitboxers Music and TToc and all the other 248 competitors). All this cried out for a rousing rendition of the William Tell-all who made overtures to the Choir of Quality, led by Willie Tellie’s love child Kitty, to present the deep and meaningful lyrics reproduced here:
Bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, titty-bum.
Bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, aye.
Bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, titty-bum.
Bum-titty-titty, bum-titty-titty, aye.
Then suddenly a significant anniversary was there for Presidential Music to celebrate: 30 Years Since Sydney Hosted World Interhash in ’84. The pearl anniversary or is that purl? And almost half of the grand pack were there to be feted: JTR, Simmo, Duckweave, Foxface, Mr Neat, Centrepoint, Frenchie, Goonshow, 4X, Winston Smith and Moishe. (Any readers not present who want to remind us of their contribution to the Best InterHash Ever?).
Humour came in fresh off the range, from Centrepoint, Duckweave, Kitty, and TToc.
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