Run 2332 Monday 12 March 2012
Last Monday, despite serving up another drop of delicious Chilli-con-Carne, Fryer-A-Duck looked wane and forlorn. He was inconsolable. It was the cessation of the Haggis Hunting Season. There would be no more lashings of Bush Tucker as the end of daylight saving drew nigh. Instead, shambolic servings of Tie, Eye-Tie and Ching-Chong Dim Sims loomed large and threatening. In the few short Mondays which were left, what exotic, gastronomic delights could he dish up ? It was difficult. He wanted to go out with something special.
Help was to come from an entirely unexpected quarter. From none other than the soon to be salad-less Supremo, Caught Jester, Pee Dub.
PD was in Weirdo’s collecting his ordered copy of “The Best of Dad and Dave”. The bumper fun book of the 1940s which had just been reprinted. On that day, Weido’s seem to have attracted an even weirder clientele of middle eastern burka bound bundles of uncertain age and gender. The one in front of him discarded a book with distain onto the floor. The title caught his eye, “The Axis of Evil Cookbook”. Well, fuck me dead, thought Pee Dub, now here is something different. He flicked through the pages, and his fertile little mind went into over-drive. “Tongue of The Judge” from Iraq, “Christians and Moors” from Cuba, “Dog Strew” from North Korea and “Sheep Testicles” from Iran. “Wow”, muttered Pee Dub, “now that’s what I call ‘Real Weapons of Mass Defecation’, Fryer-a-Duck will be pleased.”
As yet, we have not received a comment from Fryer-a-Duck. We can only assume he is keeping it a secret which of these steaming, succulent dishes will be served up at the remaining Summer Runs. All then lies in the future.
Meanwhile on Monday, Circus Maximus and Sheep Dip held centre stage, promising to produce a Summer Time Run and Repast of outstanding excellence.
AND SO WE MOVE RIGHT ALONG TO FOX VALLEY WITH CIRCUS MAXIMUS AND SHEEP DIP
Much, much later after the Run. Seeking comments, our reporter, the revered Canuck Correspondent, found it almost impossible to either make himself heard or attract any attention from the slurping, chomping, finger licking Mob that had fallen upon the King Pawns and accompanying delicacies. A sample of a truncated conversation was as follows.
CC, politely nudging “one of them” (name withheld) who was about to devour his second plate of prawns. Therefore, thought CC, he maybe a little more lucid than those around him. CC asked, “what did you think of the Run ?” The Prawn Muncher, paused munching, licked his fingers delicately and finally replied, “bloody terrific. Best since Brooklyn,”..and return to mumble, mumble, chomp, slurp. CC politely agreed, “yes, The Flying Scotman’s Run at Brooklyn was special.” The Muncher paused. “What Brooklyn Run ? Jeez I wouldn’t go that far on a Monday Night. Lunch Yes. Bloody good prawns, must be from Brooklyn”….. lick, slurp, munch. CC persevered, “no, I meant the Run tonight. What did you think of it ?” The Muncher, tiring of the interruptions, cut it brief. “Look, I just went for a short walk. I didn’t want to miss out on these King Prawns. Push off and ask someone else, will yer ?.”
Unfortunately, despite The CC being such a polite chap, the brush-offs continued. Apart from odd comments about too many cobble stones, streams, creeks and even the odd river, the Prawns commanded the attention for the evening. It was however reported that once again most of the Mob tried desperately but unsuccessfully to keep their feet dry. It must be an age related thing.
It was a Great Evening. Well, I mean the On On, with King Prawns, Ham, Special Spuds followed would you believe by assorted cheese and biscuits, garnished with bunches of sweet white grapes and topped off by a Special Basket Pressed Tawny Port.
What a Night !