The Sydney Mummery Hareld
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First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2453 July 7, 2014
RUN REPORT JULY 7 – CROWS NEST/ DUCKWEAVE & LOST PATROL
Distance: 8.55km / Elevation Gain: 9m/ Calories burnt: 435c
Yankee Noodle Dandees
At the top of the mast is Crows Nest—you can’t miss it. Well, 30 chilled to the bone, yet hot to trot Poshmen didn’t miss it. Just one, who shall be nameless. Changi, a professional landscape designer, a terrain titan and environmental expert and horse-drawn cartographer lit upon another top spot to start, elsewhere in the vicinity. Regrettably the nameless one was never sighted, not even for a first time let alone ever again—has Chang found an entirely new run agenda that doesn’t require his presence?–and the chastened Changi cantered home to hand-made orgasmic bread and Juliana-crafted coconut conserve. Mmmm, tasty.
Meanwhile the 39-ers, led by Hanoi Bill and Mash departed Uncle Sam’s Crows Nest Mast-quarters, barely heedingHares Duckweave’s and Lost Patrol’s warning of three runs in one: the Standard 8.55ks Run for the likes of Tyre Fruck and God Knows, the 5.37ks Walkers and 1:62ks Waddlers designed specifically for Captain Bligh, Goanna, Kitty and Goonshow. These Hares are pros. An engineers blue-print gave Trailmaster Moishe total accuracy throughout, a text book performance straight out of “The difference between accuracy and precision cross-disciplinary dealing with metrology, materials, machining processes, machine tool design, micro-sensors and actuators, manufacture of integrated circuits and mass storage devices,” by: V. C. Venkatesh, Sudin Izman.
Typical routing to the point of pedanticism confronted Ayatollah, and check-back at the corner of Baroona and Shoalhaven Avenues in Northbridge, that sent Poly and Little Shit back, wait for it, all of three metres, narrowly avoiding a damaging crash into Calici, FoxFace and 4X tearing towards them. At precisely the half-way point, Latitude 33° 47’ 15’S and Longitude 151° 10’ 13’E, Goonshow and Goanna, Mash and God Knows quickly researched the corner of Sanders Reserve (named after an old piece of heritage-listed graffiti, ‘For a Good Time call Col Sanders on 0604 178 326’), at the back of the Bridgeview pub. At last at the corner of Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe, the pack led by Jock and Wombat in full flight, headed across Artarmon Reserve, and aided by the eagle eyes of Foxy, Music and Nautilus solved the clever check in the darkness behind the freeway and on thru the detritus section behind the Royal North Shore Hospital (whose prominently lit RNSH sign does not incorporate a blue and white hospital cross—meaningless for newly-arrived asylum seekers and folk from Taree for example. Note to Jungle: pls see to it).
From the chill of the night to the warmth of Uncle Sam’s welcome, at his coolie coolly minimalist décor dining hall or mall—or diner. Awash with laksa, fried mice, chicken, beef, and chilli noodles, the banquet was a genuine Uncle Sam Singaporean stir-fry. (Later, much later, came leftovers! Always an E-Shit favourite. Uncle Sam presented Mr Foeswith some special fried rice destined for Men’s Shed quadriplegic, Down’s syndrome kiddies suffering cerebral palsy and epilepsy..but it went missing. Check your pongy gear bag guys, and try to bring it along to next week’s event).
With a dozen sweaty (where’s the Uncle Sam deodorant when it’s needed?) Poshmen crammed into tables of eight,Wanker sat alone, like Wayne Swan at his zenith. Khyber returned from the United States especially forDuckweave’s and Lost Patrol’s Uncle Sam Night of Nights. (Khybe and Toothfairy spent some time together in that Bin of Sin, Las Vegas, where Tooth is working on a new program with the real Toothfairy. Called Hairfairy it’s a little something to look forward to for older folks. S Bends is also touring the U.S. In the true spirit of Independence Day, our other US representative has had a run with the “The Inaugural Bryce Canyon Rim Independence Day Hash House Harriers”, Membership ONE!!! He also had a chat with the Naked Cowboy in New York and is planning a franchise operation (of one also) in OZ and will promote the highly desirable S Bend Brews at the same time. Wine was sourced, by Goon?, from the House of Aldi, an establishment noted for fluffy jackets and trekking gear—ask Ayatollah. Wombat is heading to North America too—Canada. A man on a mission. Back in September, presumably angling to be on the next Committee. And to balance the books, Calici, President Music, Copra, Flying Scotsman, Jungle, Centrepoint, Smiley and Yakkity are heading for Brussels for the Clayton’s Interhash. (Message from the lovelyDoctor Sue aka White Rabbit, who has a Brussels Rego on offer. Be quick—see below)*
Well, Uncle Sam’s turned on a stimulating stir-fry. Also stirring but not fried was Uncle Sam hisself, a JJ lookalike if ever there was one, who conducted the constituents in a rousing, patriotic, particularly if you were from the Land of the Free, Pledge of Allegiance with hand over hearts (except Tyre Fruck who thought he heard “hard”, not “heart”-see pic). With that, and the strains of Stars and Stripes Forever soaring, another super-hero appeared with a pouf. CaptainAmerica whose buffed up bod was reminiscent of TicToc’s joined Uncle Sam, and the assemblage spontaneously bursting into The Star Spangled Banner by Francis Scott Keys, 1814. The crowd bayed for a finale of God Bless America, and were almost rewarded. At last just before anarchy erupted and Al–Qaeda appeared in the form of President Music-taunted Moh**mad Zuh**i, who was waiting impatiently in the Mosman mosque near Frenchys, for Ramadan to give him sustainable relief, the evening climaxed with that familiar ditty:
I’m a Yankee Noodle Dandy
A Yankee Noodle, do or die
A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam
Born on the Fourth of July
If that were not excitement enough, the evening further exploded with humour like fireworks of fun from the likes ofMash, Calici, Wombat, Presidential Music, Jungle, Wombat and TToc.
*BRUSSELS INTERHASH REGO Message from the lovely Doctor Sue aka White Rabbit who has a Brussels Rego on offer—if anyone wants to grab this opportunity. Brussels is fully booked, so if you want to go, here’s your chance. Be quick tho. Call Dr Sue (Paton) on 0407 228 744, or sue-paton@idx.com.au
Pix from this week..(just click the link and then hit slideshow) https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=108176288433170305675&target=ALBUM&id=6033842013688489409&authkey=Gv1sRgCM63oL_K4eqheQ&feat=email
BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
Plunger, Toothfairy, and The USA.
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BIGAMIST DOES EVERYTHING IN TWOS (Like Noah)
Kitty Litter reports that Jungle Jim and Centerpoint have just returned from Vanuatu where they were training for the
Port Vila Hash upcoming 2000th Run on 22-25 August 2014.
(Shame that Presidential Music was not there to create another sister Hash with an open invitation for them all to come over to visit us).
Our Champion 2000th Runner, BIGAMIST is aiming to make it though he’ll not be long back from Europe.
And why is he our Champion? …because no one else has the pedigree of attending all of the following:
Posh 2000th /Auckland / Brisbane / Royal Peninsular / Newcastle / Launceston / Melbourne Men’s
…and he hopes to do Townsville in October. Go BIG!