The Sydney Mooning Hareld
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First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2455 July 21, 2014
RUN REPORT – DEE WHY / LOST PATROL & BENNY THE TIT
Distance: 8.2km / Short Run: 6.4km / Walk: 4.6km Elevation Gain: 18.5m/
Many steep steps for Poshmoon,
one giant shemozzle* for Moishe.
*Shemozzle: confusion when run map street names are obscured by trail markings—
Man Meets Moon..45th Anniversary, July 20-21, 1969
Waiting for no-man to land on the moon 45 years after the first effort The Time & Tide Hotel sat silently, forebodingly for 45 eager athletes to assemble. First to step out of the hermetically-sealed drive-in bottle shop were Crewmembers Little Shit and PeeDub, who immediately began exploring the dark concrete-like terrain—along DeeWhy Creek track (with the promise to retrace their steps with the rest of the crew upon returning to the mother ship—thanks to Chief Hashtronaut Hares, Lost Patrol and Benny the Sweetitis’ clever use of double-duty flour spots and recalibratable directional arrows. Perception-personified Trailmaster Moishe was not to be beaten by the precise engineers’ route map that laid a series of joists and ferrous girder I beams across the grey 3-point street names throughout the 8.231666ks odyssey. Street names looked like this: Obscure Court. The route consisted of a Long Walk 6.437555ks, Short Walk 4.623444ks, Long Run 8.231666ks, Short Run 4.613217ks, Walk 4.717822ks and Wander 356.1786m. Poly, virtually perching on the shoulders of Captain Bligh (of whom more later) andNautilus soon found their pace past Cromer Park, when suddenly Hanoi Bill and Frenchie creamed them onGrover Avenue and Waroon Avenue. And spotted Wabash Reserve, then Wabash Avenue and with San Francisco and Goanna skirted St Matthews Farm to return to Grover Avenue. Walkers Toothfairy (and Trailmaster’s assistant) and BTG went fishing along South Creek, while Kitty and Plunger stomped Lower South Creek to Carawa Road, and All-Purpose Excavations. A succession of fine street running ensued, Washington, Carrington, andToronto.
With the 45th anniversary in mind Music and Little Shit noted the entire exercise was almost an exact re-enactment of Astronaut Neil Armstrong’s exploration of the moon on July 21, 1969, with street names and terrain to match, plus forbidding peaks (see pic, above) already populated with Cromer MoonMansions favoured by Past President Moonbeams in the days of yore.
At last, having negotiated Badcoe Avenue, the intrepid adventurers, including Goonshow and Ayatollahretraversed Dee Why Creek. These Hares tackled a treat of mixed streets, reserves, bush and boulders with confidence..Moishe resisted the temptation to transmit a mayday signal, it being July, eg: “Hausmann we have a problem.” (Unlike the paramedics who found a slumped Whitney and radioed back to base: “it’s Houston..we have a problem”).
The relief of having achieved success with this mission was palpable at HQ OnOn, with humour dispensed as fast as the $9.95 steaks were delivered to meet the result of the Hash’s Heavenly Hunger Games odyssey. Plunger brought his Norwegian nephew, Rune (we’ll all be Runed cried the bastards from the Posh); Goonshow was chided for disdaining Posh dress code that recommends trousers (see pic). And talking about appearance, San Franciscomade a welcome one. PeeDub found humour in urine and testing (not tasting for sugar—that’s another story), and thankfully censored reference to spilt seed, and Seaman Staines, while TToc warned of email and vaginal egress.
Finally, exhausted, sated, the happy Hashtronauts exited HQ and boarded their respective craft to return to earth—mission accomplished.
PShhh ! Private Posh Notes
POSH EXPLORERS IN ABUNDANCE: Flying Scotsman needs help with his Morgan’s battery and several grommets which they need while girling (whatever that is)..just off to Armidale, now as a passenger, promises to not run into TToc, et al, recceing next year’s MBR cycle event. Toothfairy has just returned from extreme sport travelling including white water rafting in Collaroy or Colorado. He also inspected the Nevada Las Vegas museum that features Wayne Newton memorabilia. Simmo is off to Paris and Iceland (very cool) boarding National Geographic Explorer inaugural Expedition voyage from Iceland, around Greenland, over the Inuk Eskimo country of Baffin Island, down through the Northwest Passage over the Canadian Arctic Ocean and disembarking in Kugluktuk, Yukon Territory, Canada. This Expedition is specifically in search and to also research the historical past of Eskimo Nell, Mexican Pete, Dead Eye Dick other boys from the Rio Grande. Virginus Illegitimate One has been hanging at Crab Claw Island, NT, recceing the next G3 outing (not the Thorpie kind)..luxxxury! Jungle Jim, Centrepoint and Smiley, are in Paris before being Brusselsbound..exploring each other in a small triple bed apartment. Reportedly most moved by the WWI battle sites and cemeteries. Kitty and Cinders have just participated in the Hunter Grunter Running Festival—acquiring new t-shirt and T-Mart shoes, which they promise to christen at the next inadvertent opportunity. Let’s hope they scored. Music,also Brussels bound explored Hamilton Island first..did not break anyone’s Hayman we’re assured. Maximus andPayling have each been exploring the Kimberley..not together silly; it’s like Pitt Street for Poshmen up there now, with Music and TToc, Jungle and Calici having just rocketed thru in their Shitboxes, and Wrappa grey nomadding from the crowd as well. Super is back from doing the Maltese Falcon, dripping wet..more next week.
—OnOn and Au revoir from your President Le Manneken Musique and the All-Star Committee. With contributions from world-wide sources, Bigamist, Changi, Duckweave, General deGaulle, Goanna, Jack the Ripper, Khyber, King Arthur, Kitty, Moishe, Plunger, SBends, Smiley, Virginus Illegitimus…OnOnTToc