The Sydney Man’n’womanly Hareld
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First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2461 Sept 1, 2014
RUN REPORT – MANLY / PAYLING & SMACKERS & VIRGINUS
Distance: 8.70ks / Short Run: 7.15ks / Walk: 5.2ks / Mooch: 3.1ks / Elevation Gain:48m / Calories burnt: 833
Musketeers meet Moochgeteers:
All for One, Run for All, it’s Hononluau
First night of Spring. You can sense the tension. Funny that…30-odd Poshers (and one perfectly-formed gal) assemble before the North Steyne Surf Club—and then 50-odd Poshers (and one perfectly-formed gal) cram into the Hononluau Grill for a splendid roast (more on that later).
The Three Mustgethares, Payling, Smackers and Virginus set a remarkably creative trail around well-Hashed terrain. First out were Tartan Bed and Scud (both returned from long absences recharging their Prius pacemakers) leading the pack, enjoying the vista of voluptuous maidens personally training along the Esplanade. Moments later Irish (his horn shiny and thrust towards the starry starry sky) and Calici found trail under Somerville Bridge to the northern bank of the moist Manly Lagoon. Keeping south of Pittwater Road, Darwin, Jungle Jim and Mr Neat competed with Superglue and Robbo across the upper Manly Creek foot bridge to Nolan Reserve. Then a dash with Lost Patrol and into Warringah Golf Course.
The Hares had thought of everyone—Short Runners, Tall Walkers, Fat Crawlers, Zippy Zimmers, Night Soilers, and Anorexic Athletes, and succeeded in losing Copra, Lightning, and Trailmaster Moishe in Dylan Thomas and Miller (Hello CV) Reserves, by cleverly disguising the minimal markings. (The left-over arrows, surplus to their needs, have been placed in a hermetically-sealed, cryovac-ed Tupperware container to be presented to the Next Committee to distribute to those who might be chalkless in West Chatswood one cold and wintry night.
At last after nine (count’em) 9ks,Goanna, Choice and Poly emerged from the green, green grass and headed home with Kitty and Baron von Drutto—a bucket with a posse of more Poshmen than you could shake a shtick at.
Over the road, at the Hononluau Grill, 50-odd guys soon were rubbing Jeannie, the obliging waitperson who granted three wishes: Island steaks, Hawaiian salmon or gluten-free vegan glug–now, soon, or later. Most, including Yakkity, Darwin, Spud and Fang Flasher, opted for the latter later and put their time to work harmonising “Why are we Waiting” —as we are now a Singing Hash. Hungry hulks (plus one perfectly-formed gal from Kalamazoo or DC—Blow White– is that rhyming slang for something?), here to present a keynote address to socio-medical professionals onMyths of Modern Sexuality Thrusting Forward, illuminated by TToc later under the heading of humour (tnxChangi)…were finally fed, and certainly watered and wined, when further rewardedby gourmet glace avec topping chocolat.
Grape, earlier in the twilight prior to the Run was sunning his balls outside the Surf Club. Thus heated it was natural he welcome Blow Job with a Grape grope. (see pix). Naturally, with professional empathy, Dr Jekyll later suggested Blow change into a hospital examination gown he happened to have in his little black bag, and claimed that she was “in good—not to mention eager–hands.” And on the subject of blowing, Irish normally not one to blow his own, decided to bequeath the beatified Bugle (an age-old Tradition–and let it be known, by Presidential Music, for example—that this is a Traditional Hash). The well-worn horn will be de-phlegmed and presented to the new, yet-to-be-selected Trailmaster successor to Moishe.
Climaxing the evensong, down downs were awarded and humour hit the fan from such luminaries as the Hares, Virginus, Payling and Smackers, Blow White, Flying Scotsman, S Bends, Duckweave, Goanna, Smiley and restaurateur Don Ho of bonhomie fame.
PShhh ! Private Posh Notes
With a beaming smile a nameless Posh person played a huge joke on a dozen fellow cyclists and the President’s revered Dad last Sunday, by sending them to Olympic Park to admire a penis of Porsches, and then—wait for it—cancelled the event before their arrival. Much mirth all round. And the laughs keep on coming. Goanna found a damp $20,000-limit credit card on the Run, just near where its original owner stopped for a slash. After downloading enough to feed Ethiopia for a year (about half) it transpired that a grateful Hanoi Bill was the original owner. E-Shit, in Geneva, yachting, found himself locked out of his petit pensione. So at 2:30 a.m.(shades of Yakkity on the outskirts of Linz, eh?) stood in the middle of the road and at the top of his my voice called out to his mate. An hour later he opened the window from the 3rd floor and gave him the code.
Next Week Run 2462– Monday, September 8, 2014 –6:30p.m.
HARE: TRAILMASTER MOISHE WITH NINE OTHER COMMITTEE MEMBERS SUPERVISING
START/ON-ON: LOURDES VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED, Cnr STANHOPE & ROSEBERY RDS KILLARA
Lamb Shanks to die for (in fact several inmates have) without a complaint.