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First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2464 Sept 22, 2014
A Wraparound Yakkity
The Run Report – never to be repeated again!
Wrappa & Yakkity Yak
This is the first virtual run report prepared by your On Sec in collaboration with Lighting and co who actually went on the run. The pack were anticipation of a Wrappa and Yak classic run as the pack of around 40 set off from the Northbridge hotel at Baringa Road. It was observed by a obscure Northbridge resident or was it the AFP, that Yakkity was observed with a supermarket trolley on tow going to some unnamed destination – could
it have been the same mysterious tolley hijacked by Flying Scotsman the previous week in the yummy mummy Gladesville car park – the plot thickens !
As the pack gathered in great anticipation there was a breath of fresh air to the pack as the new committee’s drive for new members was looking good with the addition of the new generation of Shits (Shaun Shit and James Shit) and Lighting Strikes, Jono, son of Lighting. It was great to see the return to the Posh of Mash ( in shorts), Tweety Pie and Boxkite ( returning after his bout of committee blues) adding to the numbers for the night.
Initially the runners and walkers headed east, into the golf club and the school with Music, Moishe, Benny, Flying Scotsman Super, Lightning, and Strike ( Lightning) running at the front followed closely behind by the Shits. There was a good falsey down the steps at the end of Gunyah Street that caught Grape, Mac and Nautilus – unfortunately Grape, knew better than the hares and cried bullshit as he knew where the trail was really located and ran right through with his PNG navigation skills highly tuned – that was the last the pack saw of him as he descended into the dark and doomed depths of Tunks Park.
Some good check backs – back up some well selected hills before we got to the golf course. Lightning, Strike (Jono) and Moishe took a false trail, that wiped them out for the night.
Of the walkers Mash with his shorts proudly displayed and using his heli –hiking navigation skills – was make a good fist leading the walking in pursuit. He was closely followed by Box Kite (I deserve a 12 month break), using his recently acquired Andean altitude skills to keep up a cracking pace. Through the golf course we came out on the western side of the club house, then into Northbridge, along part of the Friday night winter track and then into Warners Park. Front runners Moishe, Benny, Music, Super with the Flying Scotsman hot on their heels.
It was at this time it was noticed that Hanoi Bill was purposely lagging behind the pack and when he thought no- one was looking , quietly slipped into a nearby house ( with the front light on) to see an “ old friend” for a dalliance – could it be?- we will never know as Hanoi later joined the pack slightly perspiring on a cold spring night! The hares stirred the ire of the pack including Little Shit ( out of ear shot of the other Shits) with a few little teasy falseys down the Golf club stairs uttering numerous profanities deserving of some clever hare – you “pricks” or words that describe parts of a women’s anatomy were heard wafting across the serene pathways and fairways of Northbridge GC. Then across into Castlecrag, through the Sorte Port. The Parapet area, the climb was along some of the newer bush track from the Warners Park was challenging. Up the 400 plus Castlecrag steps was a testing experience for the pack with much grunting, farting and puffing as the pack ascended into Khyber land. To Changi’s great astonishment Strike ( Lightning ) and
the junior Shits, Shaun and James, passed the bewildered Changi as they bounded up like gazelles –what a depressing experience for a once proud athlete!
As the pack reached Eastern Valley Way, some of the pack, led by the walkers of Polly, Hanoi ( now recovered) , Centrepoint and Jock, completely missed the 1 metre sized arrow and turned left for home. Through Castlecrag via Charles then into Sunnyside, across Eastern Valley Way into Butt Park went the remainder of the pack finally ending up in the Willoughby Paddocks Development adjoining Eastern Valley Way (Last market gardens in the area cultivated by the Chinese from 1882 to 1971). Tweetie Pie was doing well until he took the wrong way in the Willoughby Paddocks track, couldn’t get over or through the builders fence, saw the poor bugger out in the rough running back up the hill to go
through the gate back onto the track.
With the Flying Scotsman taking the lead with Moishe tiring quickly and the fast finishing Plunger ( fresh from his Norwegian experience) raced to the finish line and the bucket. It is about this time that Grape from his solo expedition in Tunks Park arrived abusing the hares for not having enough arrows – good one Grape! By this time the shortcutting walkers that had missed the virgin territory were into the bucket and about to descend on the unsuspecting staff of the Northbridge hotel. One of the junior shits was heard saying to the elder Shit, “Who was his best friend in the hash?” to which he allegedly replied – “You are son!”
ON ON
The On On was the Northbridge hotel which has been a tried and true feeding ground for the Posh. However communication is not one of the skills they possessed as 35 hashmen entered the hotel to the astonishment of the hotel staff – WTF!!! It seems that the manager had not told his staff that 35 + famished hashmen would demand the special
deal that has been Tuesday night favourite – the food was good quality and value, but the 40 minute wait was shithouse.
A good night all round with Down Downs for the hares, Hanoi Bill ( where did he go ?), Super ( for last Sundays great walk) and Jono “Lightning Strike” Simmonds
A great run and venue and thanks to the Hares for their work.
Next Week
Next week it’s the turn of the 3 musketeers of Ayatollah, French Connection and Duckweave to delight the hash with their cunning run.
On On
SmileyOn On Smiley
Your Hash Journey
Summary
• Distance : 7.32 Km ( except for grape)
• Metres Climbed : 114 m
• Steps – a fucking lot