Run 2268 – 13th Dec 2010 – Sydney Hash House Harriers

At Killarney Heights courtesy of Short Fuse (formerly Goon Show) and Le Merde Petit (Little Shit)

POSH Tribune MEMO

Google Earth : Run 2268

Subject: Tales of the Misfits

From Bwana Matata

To Douglas Macaroni

Date 15-12-2010

Macaroni you old Spaghetti Head

It seems that I have some competition on my hands here in the POSH Hash; or perhaps I might have a reprieve and let him file the “embedded insider’s” weekly reports, although they could have some bias, and not least a dash of pseudo intellectualism between the lines.

You see this bloke reckons he is something of a darling to the press club and a self professed lover and critique of Aboriginal art to boot. A man of Churchillian words who is quick to chastise his hash mates on the correct use of the Queen’s English. Is it any wonder that he has amorous leanings on Helen Miram who herself played the leading role in “The Queen”?

As a consequence of his radio personality namesake, Eccles, he has for many years been referred to as ‘Goon Show’ in the hash. However his quickness of temperament is also not dissimilar to the late Spike Milligan^v either, and he is therefore loved by his mates as first class fodder for a good old Aussie ‘wind up’. In deed his verbal responses might be expressed in this way.

“Why should you insinuate that I should tolerate such vitriolic incidence from those whose mental and communicative capacity is not as well graduated as my own”………….Ahhh….. how very erudite this man is. This is why the current President has called for a hash name change to ……‘Short Fuse’

You see, he also has a tendency to narcissistic overreach, complete with his man bag in hand. His flourishes of self aggrandisement are truly disproportionate bellicosity against his fellow hashmen whom he justly feels are not as eloquent or expressive as himself due to his well read, well travelled experiences combined with artistic and journalistic skills.

Sadly for him though, the mark of true intellectualism is not so much overblown rhetorical flourishes but rather the capability of self deprecation and observation. This is why those around him secretly love him not only for his eloquence but also for his volatility, for the latter is in itself is a hash sport, besides the all running, jogging, walking, kayaking and other shenanigans of the SH3.

Bless his hash mates who are able to size him back to normality.

Yours in Hot Competition

Bwana Matata

v Eccles: Played by Spike Milligan

The Famous Eccles, a complete and utter idiot. An amiable, well-meaning man with no wits or understanding. When people tell him to shut up, he frequently joins in and often goes on telling himself to shut up long after everyone else has given up. Eccles often finds himself helping Ned Seagoon alongside Bluebottle. His idiotic logic is considered to epitomize Goon humour.

Report of 2268, 13^th December 2010 ___________________________________________________________________________

Perambulations Down to Middle Harbour & Around Bantry Bay

Little and Large, or Short and Tall made an odd but ‘happy coupling’ and instead of a middle height outcome, we were treated to a cunning plan of trails in the figure of 8, but not 69.

First it was down to Middle Harbour’s waters edge and then onto a variety tracks and paths on the hillsides which intertwined with the walkers trails, many of which were new to the hash. Not least was the use of all the hills from the water’s edge up to the ridgelines and then down again…but all in the bush.

We enjoyed some top views back to Bantry Bay and then lastly an industrial archaeological inspection of the old Munitions Magazines on the waterfront of Bantry Bay. Short Fuse had kindly laid ‘family jewels protectors’ across the barbed wires. One wonders whether he had suffered the indignity of damaging his own jewels whilst recceing and laying the trail. It certainly would not have been Little Shit who would have slipped through or under the lines with ease.

And the last pull up the hill to home was memorably “workman like” and deserving of the waiting bucket which was chilled but not so iced as to make one’s sinus’s ache.

Summary: A great summer run, all in the bush.

Note to all future hares: This is what can be achieved for the enjoyment of the whole pack by taking the time to do some real hard yard recce work and combining old and new trails in otherwise familiar and scenic territory.

The TM’s Run Marks.

Keeping pack together 4/5

Trail Marking 4/5

Trail interest 4/5

Moocher attraction 1/5____

Total 13.0

The Feeding Frenzy in the Reserve

Report of 2268, 13th December 2010 At Killarney Heights courtesy of Short Fuse (formerly Goon Show) and Le Merde Petit (Little Shit).

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How much fun can you fit into a Bento Box?

After a grrrreat run, (even by Grrrrrrape’s standards) the pressure was on for the hares to back it up with a memorable On-On. So much pressure in fact that Short Fuse became quite nervous with the attendance of a huge roll up and quickly dashed up to the local Pizzeria – just in case!

As it turned out, you can fit a very satisfying feed into a multi-compartmented plastic box from this day forward known as the “Bento Box”. t certainly left one group in fine voice – Music accompanied by his band of merry men including Centrepoint, Kitty Litter, Jungle and Scud continually broke into song upon the President spewing forth any memorable phrases.

The formal proceedings from our President included some very important events:

Jack the Ripper gave a short account of the previous Fridays annual Hash Sailing Regatta. It went something like this – we started, E-Shit hit the lead and the race was promptly cancelled whereupon all entrants reported to the raft-up and sank copious quantities of food and drink – the end. Chorus – “We are Sailing” from the Music Man Boys’ choir.

Down-downs to the hares – chorus” Short Fuse, Short Fuse” by the Music Man Boys’ Choir.
Pilko became a Grandfather for the first time and is looking forward to fine tuning his nappy changing skills which will no doubt involve laying the soiled babies arse out on the lawn and hosing it down from a safe distance.

Jack the Ripper gave a short account of the previous Fridays annual Hash Sailing Regatta. It went something like this – we started, E-Shit hit the lead and the race was promptly cancelled whereupon all entrants reported to the raft-up and sank copious quantities of food and drink – the end. Chorus – “We are Sailing” from the Music Man Boys’ choir.
Kitty Litter received a down-down for making it to court to defend himself in something related to a car and drinking. Of course we all know he is innocent, (until proven guilty!)
WC received a down-down for posing as a Santa at David Jones Chatswood and getting his photo taken with Little Shits kiddies. Chorus “Santa Claus is coming to town” from the Music Man boys choir.

Then there was some humour……..

General Steve came out with a joke he thought was so funny that he struggled to get to the punch line – some ridiculous tale about wiping a dog on heats arse with petrol and watching it get pushed home by another dog. Tic Toc reminded us of the 69th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbour. Music reminded us of the Jewish Kamikaze pilot who crashed his plane into his brothers scrap metal yard and Pee Dub was noticeably absent and so there were no more bad jokes for the night – except for Major Disaster’s!

So, as we all crunched away to the sound of crisp Fuji apples Goon Show continued his ranting by denouncing himself of any association to a person named Short Fuse and so the saga continues. Frenchie tried in vain to complain about the lack of food – he was promptly shouted down and told to have another apple! Grrreat run – Grrreat food, On-On.