Little Shit & Your Choice – Special Edition
Where does the On Sec start with this Run – do we call it the 389 that was binned?; do we call it the Major Disaster Reprise? or the Spell of Smiths Creek? If Bumcrack was taking odds on a re-occurrence of the events of the last Little Shit- Your Choice Run, he would have collected a substantial booty from the Posh. Maybe the problem goes back to the early days of the settlement of Sydney, when one of Captain Arthur Phillip’s crew by the name of midshipman Horatio Smith, decided to do some reconnaissance for the Captain looking for an old Aboriginal trail. Regrettably he was never found and hence the curse of Smiths Creek emerged a few hundred years later.
The day started badly when the constabulary noticed President Pee Dub setting up camp inside the Park gates. “All good”, said Pee Dub as he waved the boys in blue off. With bad weather threatening, Pee Dub masterfully directed the erection of the Posh Tarp – always a favorite in times like this. The structure was taking great shape as an official National Parks ranger by the name of Kevin Prick dropped in for a friendly chat. “Who is in charge here?” asked Kevin Prick – of course Pee Dub, being the President and all that took the lead – “ I am the President and what seems to be the problem Mr Prick?” “Please show me your permit to set up in this pristine area”, said Prick. Being a pillar of honesty Pee Dub explained we were just a bunch of harmless over 70 year olds and we did not need a permit. 
With that the Prick’s face changed to a crimson red and said in his officious Prick voice “If that is the case you must leave now – I have taken all your license plate numbers so PON.”
Ranger Kevin Prick
An incensed committee were furious; however, the calming hand of the newly named Ring Worm (aka Tupperware “Not Nigel” fame) settled the boys down as they contemplated another venue. “What about the Pony Club?” said Captain Bligh – “Sorry”, said Smiley, “one of Lightning’s Horsey mates is there.” With all nearly lost, Lightning offered his Terrey Hills horse facilities and off went the trailer to set up for the long evening. Back at the start, there was a good gathering of Posh in anticipation of a re-run of last year’s inaugural run, but without the drama of the lost Major. Earlier Major Disaster, a little sheepish from the ignomy of last year said “Kemeny’s have just informed me the delivery of the 2007 Penfold’s 389 has been delayed, so I regret I will not be able to make the Run this evening.” 
The gathering pack included Flying Virgin with his mate, Nigel 2 (Nigel 1 went into a jealous rage now there was competition), Darwin, Hanoi Bill, Pilko, Biggamist, Changi , Plunger and Payling.
The bus left at 6.15 promptly to the sounds of the national park’s helicopter hovering above (radioed in by Kevin Prick to make sure the site was vacated as commanded). The bus was now travelling down Booralie Road with a good cheer and great expectations from the posh numbering over 35. Your Choice and Little Shit were feeling very confident this year, with the lessons learned from their Major Disaster Run that all contingencies had been covered – so they thought! Goanna had confidently arrived with his Business associate David. “Are we going again into this bullshit territory tonight?” – “It’s a piece of piss”, said Goanna with David a little bemused by his client – “Is he always this confident?” as he confided in Moishe.
The first stop was the walkers – knowing the travails of last year event, there was no hesitation of taking the easier option – there was Frenchie, S Bends (with camera), Calici Virus, birthday boy Pilko, Captain Bligh, Simmo, Pee Dub, Bigamist, Hanoi Bill and the indefatigable Darwin Don. Wrappa, Scud, Payling and JTR looked at each other – will we or won’t we?; is this a wise move – in true Posh style it was “WTF” and they continued on. SBends keen eye for art – 
is that a blackbutt gum!
They were now on the perimeter track, many a run set by Grape and others in years past as the track went into the bush and down into the depths of the valley floor below.
At this stage Goanna and David had been ahead, his red signature tee shirt highly visible in the bush – slipping and sliding was the order of the day as the recent rains and made the territory slippery and leech infested. Payling was jesting about Smiley’s ability to stay upright as he went AoverT in spectacular style when trying to negotiate a tangle of slimy trees. Grape’s jungle experience in PNG was noticeable as he slipped down the slopes like a gazelle clearly enjoying the terrain. On the walkers trail, it was good going on the well-formed Smiths Creek track as they reached the upper reaches of Smiths Creek.
The bus continued and disgorged its passengers further along Boralie Road as the Flying Scotsman, Nureyeof, Moishe, Superglue, Plunger, Saltpetre, GoonShow, James “Chastity Belt junior” and Kraptin Kompost sprinted around the perimeter of the Terrey Hills Golf Club followed by the Grape, Druid, Wrappa, JTR, Scud, Payling and Smiley made up the rear with Spud marshalling the troops. It was quite slippery down there as Flying Virgin, having not run for a while, and also stumbled then spread eagled in stunning style. The runners had also finally reached the bottom as well with Goonshow in full stride, but not in the same class as the younger Nureyev and the elite Scotsman who were sprinting along the banks of Smiths Creek then up the steep incline to home. About this time it was noted that Goanna and David seemed to have slipped behind the pack, obviously observing the fine specimens of reptiles to be found in the territory.
Goanna’s hash name was becoming a reality as a he no doubt knew the Goanna’s spiritual meaning is “visualization and visual dream working”. The visual dream working was happening somewhere in his confused mind as the sun was setting and dreaming of a trail was nowhere to be found. He and David were lost like up Smiths Creek without a paddle. Up the steep incline went Darwin with walking stick in hand together with Hanoi Bill, both of whom were doing a sterling job negotiating the demanding hill. Grape, always the loyal digger, asked Darwin how he was going and quick as a flash Darwin responded – “Don’t worry about me sonny – you looked a bit fucked yourself!” – the fighting words of a 92 year old!
Everyone was in except – you guessed it!- Goanna and David; time passed = 6.30;7.30; – still no Goanna.
The pack was now assembling at the bucket –first in as always was Scotsman followed by Nureyev, Superglue, Moishe and Plunger, JTR was chuckling to himself over his unexpected excellent performance on the runners trail with Scud and Wrappa sucking in the big ones as they reached the bucket.
The show continued on at Lightning’s covered arena as Spud and Grape, fearing a repeat of last years “old boy lost” episode descended back to the valley floor. Of course Little Shit could not comprehend that this was possible – how could this be that Goanna was lost? After countless mobile phone calls between rescue HQ (Your Choice, Moishe and 4X) and the forward scouts of Spud and Grape, a distant & faint squeak was heard from a far off ridge line – was it Goanna or a randy possum in the bush? Yes it was them – they had been found!! At 11pm with distant torch lights in the background, first Grape emerged exhausted from the darkness, followed 5 min later by Spud, Goanna , his ex-business partner David and Moishe. A fucked Grape having a coldie after Ex Business Partner David with a relieved Goanna (contemplating the a mammoth recovery mission purchase of some 389 reds). The JM’s, Ayatollah, Captain Bligh and White Shit had done a great job in cooking some excellent steak with mash and mushroom sauce together with onion and salad. Peedub asked Little Shit, representing the hares to step up for a down down together with Kraptin Compost, James Holgate, Newly inaugurated Ring Worm (Not Nigel) & Nigel 2, Pilko on turning 73 ( happy birthday mate!) and Nureyev.
An eventful evening and thanks to the Hares for setting a well-marked (sorry nearly well marked Run,) To Spud and Grape for a phenomenal recovery mission as forward scouts and to Moishe, Choice and 4X for manning the command post. Next week to 4X’s run in St Ives; however, there may be some last minute readjustment after the new high-water level mark set by Little Shit and Your Choice. Thanks to the Lightings for hosting the OnOn at short notice.
Late Edition from Grape Field Notes
“My estimate of where our mate tried to go was following the wrong side of Smiths Creek. I believe where I found them was about 34900 731500 or somewhere near the H in smith but on the wrong side of the creek. Following the contour they would of got to the road but many hours later. Our track is known as the Smith Creek east track and they would have needed to cross the Creek to the shortest route to the road which would have been down and up some thick steep country. Staying on the contour and heading up would have been 1.5 K to the road. I think they would have been only a few hundred meters at the most from the junction of the left fork of the creek. Heading due south about 400 meters would have got them to the Nerang track and Terry Hills, but long walk down McCarr’s Creek Road back to the cars”
Your Hash Journey – where you went courtesy of Your Choice
Distance 6.08km
Elevation gain 220m
Calories burnt 310C
- Run No 2481 January 19th: XXXX The Hare has called his Run “Unfinished Business” – corner of Warrimooo Avenue and Timbarra Road St Ives – more to be revealed by XXXX
- Run No 2882 January 27th: Joint Run – tba – Hosted by Thirsty
- Run No 2883 February 2nd: Plunger