Our Big Fat Greek Run with Big Goon & Little Show
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This unlikely coupling of ‘Little n’ Large’ ‘has occurred in previous years.
What a hideous thought!. I therefore hasten refer to the first rule of the POSH hash…….and we all know what that is ….need I say more?
So, it starts with Goon Show’s usual pomposity ….who else would select a start venue on a road called General San Martin Drive. Whatever next? Lord Snooty Boulevard?
Anyway, it’s all good territory around there and the Goon’s promotional fanfare says it all, namely “good honest Headless Virgin track running with a modicum of thought-provoking checking, a few ups and downs and one more river to cross. ………. And, we’re also providing a Shortarse Run for whimps!
But the direction from which you arrive back at the Upper McCarr’s Creek Road Park Entry-point (junction of General San Martin Drive) WILL BE NOTED!
As my year 12 school geography master used to say..”this lesson will be divided into 3 halves”. Notwithstanding the mathematical improbability, our Big and Little Shows’ run may be summarised in the same way.
Act 1
A Virgin’s Bush
It it started as good as a summer run gets. Definitely virginous and within some excellent country on a
perfect hashing evening. And, Yes, there was one really big down (at the bottom of which the walkers were
directed somewhere else and Jungle Jim whimped out on the story that he had been cycling the day before
and had used up 7 out of 10 ergs of his sporting energy for the week. And after the DRY river crossing we
tackled one humongous UP.Hill. …..This hill was Not for the feint or coronary hearted. Even Your Choice was feeling short of a Spare Rib or two as he stopped to recover his spent lungs along with Jock and a couple of others. They wept over a dumped vintage motor …..a Humber circa 1950’s which would now be worth a collector’s fortune. Sadly bonking back seat was no more and the rust and 50 years of outdoor ‘parking’ had taken its toll.
Never mind, we all loved the new running trail and marvelled at the hours of recceing that must have gone into making it. To top it all we were treated to dazzling views into and across the valley. By this time the superlatives were already piling up in my mind for a mesmerizing write up.
Act 2
Back Yard Blight
But the ghost of the Headless Virgin was about to haunt us in Act 2 of the promo script. The self appointed cunning and ‘counter’ intelligence from one of the ‘Shows’ clearly outsmarted themselves and just about all of the running pack. At the top of THE Hill and adjacent to the iron fire trail gate the trail marking petered out.
Was this a check? Or what was it? Our bucket homing instincts told us the trail would be to the left. And sure enough about 50 metres or more there were the arrows accompanied by “SR”.
A new parlance in the hash; an acronym perhaps from the ever subtle and perennially academic Big Show for “Short Run”. A quick glance at our chronometers accurately displayed 7.15pm and we were still a long way from home.
Discounting the probabilities of an ‘LR’ we headed on …but virginous territory IT WAS NOT. We crawled along the back fences (mostly tasteless Colorbond) and through all the shit and shonk that ‘illiteratii’ and retard residents had chucked over from their back yards and across a steep embankment. And it went on for way too long to be a just a minor misdemeanor by our hares. The superlative adjectives retracted in my mind.
Redemption will surely come. Well it did. We re-entered more bush but sadly for all too short a time.
When questioned later at the bucket why the ‘SR’ trail was marked 50 metres away from the fire trail gate rather than setting the split between SR & LR’ signs at the point of decision making ie by the locked gate, the Bog Show blamed the Little Show and vice-versa. A lovers’ spat methinks.
I never did find out where the LR went, but I do know that the usual greyhounds including Flying Scotsman, Super, Lightning and Cinders came in absolutely buggered at about 8.15pm and not feeling as magnanimous about the evening’s trail as the Walkers and SR’s. Perhaps their envelop had been pushed a little too far for a warm evening.
Act 3
The Long Run Home
Within a two or three minutes we burst out onto the road ….no less than General San Martin Drive eventually leading to the start location. With hundreds of surrounding hectares of beautiful bush, our run home on rough hard bitumen along the main road extended for what seemed an eternity.
The bucket lingered long in our minds as we trudged and shuffled long the main road.
Dear Bog & Little Shows, what were you thinking? Surely a discreet bush track parallel to the harsh road could be there waiting for us?.
All up though it was a great evening, and everyone seemed the enjoy themselves, most particularly as your ever loving JM’s rolled out the Fatness of Greek cuisine.
And the evening just got better. The quintessentially Mediterranean hors d’oeuvres at the bucket continued to the ‘out door-under the stars’ dining hall. With a line up panting to get to the food, the charge of 55 or more was led unusually by the Flying Virgin of all people, closely followed by the robustness of Carefree who acted anything but at being pipped to first place.
Some of the pack had the audacity of accusing the JM’s of serving large chunks chicken instead of traditional Greek lamb. To them I say their taste buds must have gone on holiday. The Big Fat Greek vegies and trimmings took care of the rest of the meal as did the Baklava desert and humour from various tables in the star light dining hall.
Another top summers’ evening for the POSH
Your Hash Journo
Path? Er, non! Path it on.
