The Gaulish Music Man Plays with Your Choices
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Definition of Music Man
A highly exercised, multi tasking, music purveying, guitar strumming, key board tinkling, (well more like finger power key board walking), self acclaimed lyricist and vocal “On-On” calling hashman. By default he has become the hash bard and clan musician…well of sorts.
Music Man is usually a sole supporting character in his own musical shows, but has major parts in numerous hash happenings, SH3 plays, theatres and full Monty’s. He loves singing and playing his ding-a-ling (and lyre) and jumps at every opportunity to do so. His talents extend to conducting hash vaudevilles, where his singing is definitely ‘out there’ and can make the Larrikins tremble with “shock n’ awe”.
Music Man can trace his ancestry directly to the indomitable Gauls (the scourge of the Roman Centurions) and in particular his Great, Great Great Great Uncle Cacofonix, from whom he has inherited and shares all his musical skills and talents…….right down to the last nuance and vocal vibe. .
However unlike his Great, Great Uncle Cacofonix, Music Man does not need to be tied up and gagged during the On-On’s. Instead MM has been trained to wait until the end of the meal before bursting into song. This allows his fellow hashmen to eat in peace.
Music Man typically letting rip to his POSH mates
By contrast Your Choice is a truly dark horse of the hash. In fact he’s truly a Black Caviar. Only a secretive and clandestine few hashmen know this (so keep it to yourselves…pleeease) but Your Choice is a purveyor of ladies apparel. The front of the shop has innocent items such as ladies smocks, aprons, petticoats, bibs and flouncy floral blouses, … but a furtive nod, a sly wink and a “’How’s your farver?” will get you past the heavy curtain and into the back of the shop where many more choices of exciting ladies lingerie lie in waiting. And by this I mean……….
Just ask for “More Choice” and Your Choice will give you a private viewing
But ….the above is not the purpose of this report…however tit-illating it might be.
So, instead of a driving lesson at S’nives ‘HART’ (however needy quite a few hashmen might be for a makeover driving course) we piled off into the bush thinking that it would probably be a similar offering to last year. But we woz mighty mistaken.
Having selected Your Choice as his running mate, this was YC’s umpteenth run of the year, Music Man had a stoic, dependable, determined and inventive co-hare to recce the best out of this country and take the POSH hash back to its traditional roots (and I don’t mean his Lovely Lingerie Dept above!!).
It had most things….including lots and lots of water as promised by Music Man. First up though, the out trail followed some pleasant fire trails through unfamiliar woodland, over or more truthfully, through a couple of creeks with the usual runners up front and the CWA tarts at the back. But a couple of check backs put paid to the Old Order which re-arranged us by the time we turned right and swung uphill into narrow tracks with overhanging scrub. It was a damp and humid evening and we sweated like real athletes. Wot the hec?…. we ARE REAL athletes!
Q Do you know why Kitty Litter wears a small square diaper over the waist band of his running shorts?
A So when he gets shit faced with the run he has something wipe the shit off with. I pity his poor washing machine each week.
Anyway on with the prose. The trail twisted and turned, over more creeks and then we popped out onto Bear Creek Track, and sections of the Oxfam Trailwalk. We waded through the creek once more, and then plunged into solid bush. All copiously festooned with dunny paper a-plenty. This was the ‘Boys Own’ adventure section. Most of us loved it. Running alongside the creek, then balancing over fallen tree trunks across the creek, and bashing our way through tall “Where-the-fuckarewe” rushes and reeds and were ready to introduce ourselves to “Dr Livingstone…. I presume”.
Grape Ape was there with his Ghost Busters pack on, just in case he was spooked by golliwogs down in dingly-dell by the mossy creek. It’s all part of his training for his next OS venture. When I checked though, the pack was empty ..so clearly he found no spooks.
But whatever goes down must come up. And so it was a long slog back up the hill towards home which most of us made just as dark descended. Others waddled in later after dark but guided by TM Salty. Even The Major and Tic Toc came in under supervision this week!
A great run which could have easily gone wrong had it not been for hanging more shit-paper than the hash has wiped between their cheeks in our combined and collective lifetimes. It was a clever combo of tracks, trails, and bush links which made it a first of its kind. The checks didn’t get too clever either.
The pull at the bucket and/or changing at the car was our opportunity at leach picking. The JM’s should have put a collection bowl so that we could introduce a new sport for the hash. The haul would have been fruitful, or more accurately blood thirsty-full.
Music’s other talent is being a true carnivore. Our hares had a joint birthday and thus pushed out their generosity and hospitality for all who stayed. Sadly a few did not and so those who did spread the spoils between us. A whopping big fresh joint of ham and Silverside with Your own Choice of salads, all of excellent quality and plenty of quantity.
Pedantic’s pooch was the real winner this week. She was kept on the lead, and was therefore able celebrate the birthday boys with the humungous left over ham bone still with lots of yummy fat, meat and gristle to keep her teeth sharp and clean.
Not only, BUT also. The hares then rolled out the largest a slab of chocolate cake I’ve seen in a looooong time. Chastity Belt thought that if we were going to die from a coronary failure, then why not do it in true style. He poured more chocolatey sauce over the chunks of cake… A double choco indulgence topped off a great night. Thanks to Music and Your Choice for getting older…which reminds me….won’t they be having birthdays again next year? ??? .
Your Hash Journo