The Sydney Mbracing Hareld
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First Run 1967 Number 2430 January 28, 2014
RUN REPORT JANUARY 28 / NORTHWOOD: LANE COVE COUNTRY CLUB / LARRIKINS~MONGREL
Australia Day Special: Green Chicken Curry
Upon Captain Knokkers’ return from 12 months’ travelling and striding the stage of international Hashing (and crashing with international Hashers), the Captain ejaculated: “After all that foreign food, I can’t wait to get back to tasty Aussie tucker such as pizza, felafel, sushi and yum cha.” How delighted she was to learn that the Larrikins’-organised Australia Day delights featured that Aussie favorite, Pad Thai.
But more of that later. First, THE RUN**. Honorary Indigenous Aussie Mongrel and his mates, starting from the Lane Cove Country Clubhouse set a clever trail that hugged the bush-line surrounding the Club’s picturesque course. But then the predictability evaporated as the pack, led by Khyber, Scotsman, Super (having removed his weekend Elvis disguise to reveal a mild-mannered Johnny Rotten beneath), Philthy and God Knows ascended up, up up the old recycled plastic bottle pathway through frightening forest. It was here that Darwin Don (who is currently on 10-20 antibiotics a day..”because they taste like M&Ms,” he says), was almost split in two—torn between two lovers–either follow Captain Knokkers, his concubine of convenience, or take the challenging runners’ trail. Yes, you’re right he chose the Captain (and who wouldn’t?..not Scud, Jungle, Payling or Simmo either, since that was a diversionary falsie, like a D-Cup implant).
Now the track got really tough, and only those feral animals Kitty and Bunny together with Nomadic were fit enough to try. (Nomadic is the Poshman who has just lost 20kilos by sheer will power, inspired by the success of Saltpetre who was bulimially obese this time last year). Soon Grape and Hand Job (goes together like Craig and Misty, doesn’t it?), joined by Phantom and his lovely niece, Claire, and athletic nephew Nick from the Old Dart, here to see what colonials get up to when given a chance to hoover down some brew, disappeared through the under-road tunnel to rescue Dr Sue—all of them seeking the tunnel of love, before emerging dampened and moist to clamber out of the bed-rock to reach the elevated bucket set high above the OnOn, for downdowns.
When Sydney’s leading mixed Hashers (Proddy Dogs, Left-footers, Kosher Klansmen, Allah Apparatchiks, women and men) get together to commemorate Australia Day, you just naturally expect most will display Aussie paraphernalia, icons, flags and cymbals, or even symbols. As it happens, of the 50 who rocked up to enjoy Rocky’s promised Larrikins Joint Romp OnOn, only three were Aussified. Not the Larrikins GM Kaffir II, who was OS (on Australia Day??), nor Tripod who has his own flag-pole, or fugitive Malcolm Naden now know as the Mummified Mutant. No the only Hashers with hands on their hearts Australia-wise were Wally Grout, Tyre Fruck and TToc. Honoring these hounds the throng burst into thong, feting the fellas with a rousing rendition of Advance Australia Yeah to tumultuous applause from the kitchen staff member. The vocals were led by the Firsty Four (including a Bit of a Slut, Next Week and Deadly Treadly. Harmony was at hand from Hand Job, Three Swigs, Dr Sue, Hell Raiser, Minnie Mouseand Kultured (a presenter of Fine Music to the effete). Meanwhile Payling noted that he liked sukiyaki, teriyaki, tonpei-yaki..in fact, anything yaki.
The ecumenical OnOn brought remarkable Aussie Day affinity with much swearing—to ensure the next Joint Romp (to be hosted by the Posh at Easter) will be an event of eager anticipation.
** In an effort to beat Laundromat, who was having his lovely assistant dribble damsel drops into the klassic Kombi at the BP station up the road (see pic), and get to the start of the run on time, TToc executed a masterful 80kph four-wheel drift into the Club car-park, only to end up with the classic Saab on a crazy angle over an illegal, litigation-likely, unmarked, leaf-covered, precipitous precipice. Tnx to A Few Good Men the Saab was restored to safety, and all that remained were cruel bystanders to take some cruel pix.