The Sydney Murphy Hareld ______________________ ________________________
First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2437 March 17, 2014
Steepest green terrain, deepest Irish tureen
With the promise of plenty of poteen to come, 50 of the Posh’s finest headed from the depths of bush behind 55 and 57 Ballyshannon Road, in true Gaelic grounds for the plummeting pipe to ???. Was it a pipe dream that eventually the trail would be clearer, and split for those, particularly WC, Cinders, Lost Patrol and Darwin, who were deciding tween a’walkin’ and a’runnin’ ? Resplendent in green, Hanoi Bill, Tyre Fruck and Super were practically invisible athletes among the ticks and the tracks that some recognised as the Great Nosh route. Soon S Bends and Mash were clambering up the escarpment above Bantry Bay and joining the eager pack to—a cunning diversion to the hidden jetty of the currently-being rebuilt Mosman Rowing Club’s HQ. B’gorrah these Hares are good. Was the promised poteen presented on the pier?..naw the boat didn’t come in. The Grape Ape was a notable leprechaun not quite missing in action…seems he had been experimenting with his racing snails, and removed a test snail’s shell aiming to speed him up. Seemed it only made him more sluggish. Back to the drawling board.
Back on track, Scud and Changi, typically competitive, discovered the cleverly crafted runners loop that threatened to go the long way to Tipperary. But no, up the next wall of rocks adjacent to Creek they found themselves, together with White Shit, Flasherand Spud at the long-sought table laden with…POTEEN. Illegally distilled in the craiks and craws of commitedly Catholic County Cork (and that’s another thing, you can take the young Catholic lass out of Cork, but you can’t take the cork…). Soon a steady stream of poteen potentates, among them Foxy, Lightning and Ripper plunged in for more of the firewater. Even Smiley gave it a nudge.
Meanwhile back at the bucket, wonderfully ensconced in privately darkened forest, Executive Chef Paddy Pilko had produced his signature dishes of rich Irish Stew, followed by Gaelic Goody, that was not only not bad but morish as well as Irish. (Talking signatures, when Paddy Pilko and his pal Mick Baron were sourcing the freshest ingredients for this Irish banquet Mick found a pen. Mick asked Paddy if it was his. Paddy wrote something, and said yes it certainly was his. How do ye know?, asked Mick. Because that’s my signature, explained Paddy).
Well the Guinness flowed, and suddenly even more leprechauns appeared..none other than Jungle Mick and Paddy Litter who had been chopped down to size to ensure their entry to this sacred ground. (It was only a foot they claimed later, which they didn’t use as a rule). Naturally, the crowd was tempted to start throwing them against the hastily erected target, for hand-eye co-ordination practise, but soon Irish humor was being batted back and forth by these two instead and canned laughter issued from many Guinnesses. Soon more funny green men appeared, McTic The Fat Man Toc and Formerly Last The Thin Man Louis were welcomed as Hares Ying & Yang aka Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dumber. Even more humour was attempted, by JTR, White Shit, Centrepoint, PeeDub and Music.
Finale for this evening was the ultra skilful manoeuvring of the Posh Whore House on wheels into the Irish forest, and then incredibly out again! That’s the Whoremaster PeeDub for you.
WHERE WE WENT
Distance: 5.47 km / Elevation Gain: 175m / Loss: 173m / Min Elevation: 18m / Max: 103m / Calories burnt: 441 C