The Summery Magicissmo Hareld
______________________________________________________________ First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2445 May 12, 2014
RUN REPORT – BANTRY BAY/ BENNY & CINDERS & LIGHTNING
Distance: 6.19km / Elevation Gain: 169m / Calories burnt: 536c
“…I just called to say OnOn to you….I just called to say where are you?…And mean it from the bottom of Garigal Park”.
Yes, it’s Little Stevie’s birthday, and we wonder if we can invoke summer nostalgia at the impossible-to-pronounce Utyana Place of Bantry Bay. It’s four o’clock in the afternoon, and forty-four of the Posh’s finest (including, is that?…Polish? no, just kidding..wait, it is him, all buffed and bursting with bonhomie). Now we’re all fired up for Four, that’s 4 (count’em) runs, a Babushka of bush: four runs each especially catering for the four kinds of bush battler:
1. Short Walkers –you could not stop General de Gaulle, S Bends and Centrepoint from attempting this);
2. Walkers —Superglue, Benny—who is in darkest Asia overseeing from afar—Kitty, Music and another Choice (Your);
3. Slow Runners —Frenchie, Formerly Last Card Louie, with Huey and Dewey; and finally
4. The Full Bounty– where Darwin, Hanoi (recovering from surgery but there in spirit, well ether) Bumcrack, Philthy and PeeDub bounded by bush of the Bantry Bay kind.
Benny from his bunker in old Singapore directed his boyz, Cinders, Lightning, and even Trailmaster Moishe to challenge the four o’clock force: Down, down they went over the aptly named Arse Sliding granite to the Bluff, back over Natural Bridge Track. This was a military strategy that Kokoda’s troops could have done with. Across Bates Motel Creek sent Pilko almost psycho, another false trail headed to Currie (not so fast cried the crowd, keep the finest quality curry for the OnOn). Now, Captain Bligh and Bigamist swept past a prison of retirement villages (with residents getting excited in anticipation of six o’clock dinner of Farex and a cheeky prune juice—wait a second so were our forking four-pronged participants). That spurred the warriors, Poly and Lost Patrol up, up to Forestville Park in a Great Nosh reminiscence within sight of Goonshow who tackled a cavalier shortcut to beat Flying Virgin unexpectedly plunging thru a quagmire of quickmud…just as Jack the Ripper and Calici encountered a clutch of giggling schoolgirls and guides walking their puppies and pussies (Hello, Rolf!), and slid back to the impossible-to-pronounce Utyana Place Scout Hall….and a (steady, we know what you’re thinking)….
…splendid Pilko-prepared repast. Presented first with appropriate fanfare and applause was Pilko’s signature, if not thumb-print dish, pumped-up Pumpkin Soup sprinkled with New Guinean hallucinogenic nutmeg, and sour cream that made everyone smile. (Question from Jungle: Why does sour cream have a use-by date?..neatest correct entry accompanied by 100 words at least and a gold coin wins an entire week’s supply). Yet this was just the beginning. Second course featured yet another Pilko signature, and not just an X…his famed Wagyu Bonsai (Hello Grape!) Bison Curry Vindaloo inspired by the eunuch chefs of the Summer Palace of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, Amritsar, Punjabi, consistently awarded three Re-treaded Michelin Stars. Like an arranged Hindu marriage the salad of the most appropriate ingredients was created by Sous Chef Tyre Fruck who also clearly deserved at least a Bob Jane T-Mart All-Rounder Star.M
It’s a Wonder Stevie didn’t stumble into the impossible-to-pronounce Utyana Scout Hall with its roaring log fire–tnx to the Nautical Nautilus. The Blind Freddy Bantry Bay Gastric Band leapt upon a prostrate Kitty Litter, harmonising, “I just called to say where are you?”, as Centrepoint and Jungle Jim posed the musical question: “What did Stevie Wonder’s wife do after an argument? A: Moved the furniture”. And just to prove that too much humour is never enough, the sun sinking westwards, and the Special bus being warmed up to take the weary wanderers to their Home, the previously noted Polish, S Bends, PeeDub, Pilko (he sources sea snails on the sea shore) and TToc regaled the assemblage with heaps of hilarity.
Finally, bringing tears to our water ducts was a delicious dessert. Sheep Eyes in Syrup being unavailable, Lychees in KY Jelly accompanied by Centrepoint-approved full-flavored Ben & Jerry ice cream followed. The evening was capped with a round of sustained applause for the Petit Fours.
—OnOn from your Stevie Wondrous President Musicman and the All-Star Committee . With contributions from world-wide sources, Bigamist, Changi, Duckweave, Flasher, Jack the Ripper, Kitty, Moishe, E-Shit, and Your Choice for the excellent run maps and gems…OnOnTToc