The Sydney Marinara Hareld
_____________________________________________________________ First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2459 August 18, 2014
BALGOWLAH / JACK The RIPPER & BUNNY TRAPPER
Distance: 7.6km / Walk: 5.2km / Elevation Gain:53m / Calories burnt: 411c
Saying NO to an octobus, they dove off into the drenching darkness..Master Hares Jack the Ripper and Bunny Trapper having re-laid the trail moments before against the massive odds of a solid (all day) downpour. First out of the net Flying Fishman and Philthy the Phishy, dog paddling out of Fish Café forum west towards Balgowlah bike track—where Baron von Trout and BTG swam into the scene. Here they overheard two fish chipping away at a “joke”: ‘Why did the chicken cross the road? Er,what’s a road?’, when suddenly Cod Knows appeared (‘Do you believe in Cod,’ he asked), and filed past the empty space that looked like Scott Morrison’s Manly Vale Detention Centre, or Whale Beach Primary, opined Jungle. Moments later Music and Irish (who doesn’t like to blow his own trumpet—see pic of blowfish below) were overheard discussing Nautilus matters: ‘What’s in the middle of a jellyfish? Fortuitously, Dr Jekyll happened by and supplied the medical answer: ‘a jelly button’. (If Figjam had been floating by instead of lying around following prostate treatment, he would have undoubtedly judged that that was not very finny).
Soon (or is that monsoon?), Payling and Lost Patrol found the track that disappeared from the Burnt Bridge By-Pass (it even disappeared from the map—they tried to go “on-line”, but still no luck). Then Maximus and Lightning aka Rod, headed north to, of all canals, drains, channels, and rivulets, Waterview Street, and Captain Bligh Park—before Frenchie and Jock, plus Benny, Scotsman, Calici, and Centrepoint squeezed out eight bars of the Oarsome Eight’s, Octopus song, ‘I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand’.
Soaked, drenched, immersed, saturated, sodden, soused, doused and moist, the 20 aquatix returned to the famous Fish bowl where a nasty fight had broken out—obviously the fish got battered and then banished to the back. Hares Jack the Ripper and Bunny Trapper kept their friends close (and anemones even closer)—Philit of Phish, Irish Roughy, Philthy, Virginus and Dr Jekyll—clearly the boys had taken the bait. E-Shit thought he recognised the gorgeous wait person, but eventually realised that he’d never seen herbivore. Music wafted in from all directions and asked the musical question, ‘what’s the difference between a piano and a fish?’—the answer of course: ‘you can’t tuna fish, can you?’
Well, Fish Café served up a real trout, er, treat. With so many Poshmen present we thought we were in orbit—or “trouter space”. Jock and Irish and TToc jousted with jokes, of the standard of Why do fish hate Fryday? (No-one knew). And, what do you call a fish without an eye? (A fsh)
.…OnOnTToc
PShhh ! Private Posh Notes
Bunny Trapper has another Gnu Knee—doesn’t quite match the other one, no the other one..and blames the sturgeon as the gill-ty party. E-Shit’s lovely daughter was married last weekend. He forgot to warn the guests that speeches were imminent and trapped them all into listening to a record-breaking treatise on the history of the world. Still the guests had more time to hoover down that free booze, and applauded accordingly. Grape Ape noted that Monday was the 48th Anniversary of a key Long Tan military action in Vietnam.
—OnOn from your President Music and the All-Star Committee. With contributions from world-wide sources, Bigamist, Changi, Duckweave, Flying Scotsman, General deGaulle, Jack the Ripper, Khyber, Kitty, Major Disaster Disaster, Moishe, SBends, Your Choice…OnOnTToc