Boxkite and Wanker- The Builder and the Banker
Regrettably the On Sec has the ignomy of writing his 2nd phantom run report over the last month however supported by anonymous contributors (who wish to do so for threat of persecution) a modicum of a report is presented for consideration!! This was to be Wanker’s and Boxkite’s night. In the case of Boxkite, this was his inaugural run since recuperating after a year on committee.
The hash are always suspicious of some of his past runs which have been shockers, but under the watchful eye of Wanker, there was great expectation of a great run. Returning to the fold was Pilko (after an inquisition from the Rural Fire Brigade for his sword grass episode), Captain Bligh (now back finally on Committee Duties but in denial); Bumcrack (for a cameo appearance before he goes under the knife) and Tooth Fairy (fresh back from his boating adventures somewhere in Europe). We are not sure if E Shit is back however there were rumours that he was sighted at Sydney Airport with a placard saying “welcoming party wanted”. Darwin was there, and after finished packing his underwear draw from last week was looking decidedly friskerier, no doubt due to the fact he was now located on the ground floor and had far more energy to burn with the young things at the gym. God Knows was also at the start no doubt mindful of the event some 209 years ago when the Brits kicked the frog’s arse at Trafalgar.
The pack set of with the runners, Moishe, Music, Cinders, Lighting(x2), Benny, Nautilus and Superglue setting a fast pace down Bradfield Road then Highfield road, although one of the runners noted Moishe’s new $400 runners seemed to have switched over to “after burner” mode as he turned on incredible pace. Goonshow now Loonshow (renamed for a second time would you believe it! – what an honour) was hitting his straps but noticeably subdued to the passing of his hero, the amazing Gough. Totally tricked by a cunning falsey on Highfield Road, Jock and Captain Bligh had caught up the pack with Wrappa, Goanna, and Bigamist not far behind. So far the Hares had got it right.
“Finally some bush”, Scud and Jungle Jim said as the trail entered Primula Street and
then into the depths of the Lane Cove National Park with Spud, map free at last leading the pack into some real summer running with great trails through the park. A cry was heard in the distance – ISIS is here or is it ASIO ! – as Tic Toc, Spud and Pilko came across a terrorist training camp right in the depth of the National Park – there was an array of electronic listening devices with an elevated walkway for reconnaissance. Your Choice soon arrived on the scene and with his global knowledge of conspiracy theories yelled -“it’s a bloody bat research station you idiots!” and Spud retorted with his intimate bat knowledge that they were microbe bats too. Meanwhile some of the walkers including Flying Virgin, Simmo, BTG, Polly and Yakkity had set into a good stride and hooked up with the runners on Lady Game drive.
Meanwhile back at the bucket, Ayatollah had turned to page 6 of his Persian cookbook which described the process for perfectly cooking crispy Persian pork ribs but with in
red letters – no margin for error. Now well into the run, Lightning x 2 and Scotsman were moving through the field as Moishe’s afterburners on his $400 shoes started to lose power as well as not being blisterproof! The sun was starting to set as the pack, now strung out over a few kilometres was making its way along the Great North Walk. The front runners and walkers, were now straggling back to the bucket however the bat electronic devices must have played havoc with some of the packs navigational skills as a mini pack comprising of, Lighting x2 Goanna, Jock, Nautilus (missing his submariners sonar) and Nigel went on a wild goose chase which took them further into the park, up to Killara before they realized the errors of their ways and finally reached the bucket at 8.30 pm would you believe.
The pork ribs were well under-way with chief chefs Pee Dub and Ayatollah cooking the food to perfection as the normal banter went on at the bucket with some altercation taking place as Boxkite defended his position that the trail was marked correctly at Knox Street – bullshit. The On Sec before departing briefly spoke with Wanker about the quality of the run whereupon an offer was made to write a favourable report – shock horror but the offer
was not big enough!! Duckweave snuck away under cover of darkness and when confronted, sheepishly explained he was cat minding and had to go home to feed the cat – pathetic! – that is worth a down down next week.
There was unanimous opinion was that the food was excellent as some seconds were
Snuck away just as Goanna, Jock and Lightning x2, Nautilus and Nigel (of –“Oh not
Nigel” fame were confronted with a cutless less dinner! But all was not lost as they feasted free on burn’t fat, skerricks of salad and cheese cake – all for nothing; what a generous committee? There were many down downs including the Hares for a nearly perfect well marked combination bitumen/bush run, for Moishe, the $400 man requesting bandaids, for Darwin moving the ground floor to have more exposure to women and to Captain Blight returning from a month’s sojourn and feining he knew nothing about being on committee. Simmo gave an update on Jack the Ripper who is well on the road to recoverer after a close shave. Superb crispy pork ribs cooked to perfection according to Ayatollah’s Persian cookbook Goanna was quoted as saying –“ I am not eating that shit!”
S Bends presented his Nelson Bay Hash Relay Report, PeeDub delivered his presidential style humour and TToc attempted to remind members of the mathematical significance of this Run #2468 by describing Little Johnny’s use of the word Fascinate in class: “My big sister has such big firm tits that she can only fasten 8 of the 10 buttons on her tight see-through blouse”
The Hares – well done !
On On to next week’s run at Scud’s Retreat, Lane Cove courtesy of Scud and Jungle Jim
Where you went on Run 2468 – see map below – copyright Your Choice
Distance 6.4km
Elevation Gain 115 metres
Calories burnt 526
