XXXX – Unfinished Business
Martin Luther Kings’ birthday was January 15th – The Hare obviously was inspired by
the great reformer and cast his own words –
“I still have a dream, a dream deeply rooted in the Posh spirit– as a group we will rise up and live up to its creed, We hold these truths to be self -evident: that all posh are created equal.. I have a dream that I will set the perfect summer Run . I have a dream that my run so steeped in steepness that it will test the human spirit and I have a dream that all who come after me will know what setting a summer run is really like and I have a dream of finding a missing person”
Fine words 4X !!
The afternoon was looking forboding as the weather forecast had looked like the chance of precipitation was low- but not in St Ives & Turramurra – maybe Observatory Hill but not at St Ives Chase. A good sized pack of some 46 turned up in spite of the inclement weather conditions – was it because there was anticipation of a 4X marathon? Or, finding a bottle of one of 4X’s finest bottles of red? or was it the chance to find a missing person – dead or alive.! Some of the old faithful had returned from the fold- there was Lurch returning after some ill health – welcome back mate!; there was Tooth Fairy and Pedantic and Carefree sporting his beard- obviously a clever ploy to make him look suave and attract a few unsuspecting lovely’s. The pack was astounded that both Tic Toc and Centre Point, bosom North Shore private buddies, did a Lazarus and were also there after their respective health issues now hopefully well behind them !
Major Disaster, cognizant of his reputation on summer runs, decided to fully attire himself in a full length yellow raincoat as a contingency plan for future search parties!!
As the rain started to drizzle down on the gathered pack, the hare explained the background of the run and the 3 trails ( short, medium and long ) – the 4X explained the mission was to find the missing 84 year old Gaida Coote as well as his bottle of red- one of 4 X’s finest – an incentive to most red drinking connoisseurs such as Scud as he salivated at the prospect of getting one of 4 X’s finest . (Under hushed tones, there was a strong rumour circulating amongst the pack that 4X had done a deal with the SES- that he would pick up a finder’s fee if he found the lost Mrs. Coote – mmmmm!!).
E shit studying the finer details.
E Shit, back from his Port Phillip Bay marketing campaign recognized the
opportunity to be redeem his image was also sniffing out the possibilities. Believe it or not, Goanna and “business associate” David had fronted up again to also redeem their
tarnished image after last week’s “Little Boys Lost” fiasco” – Grape also noted their return and was keen
to ensure that the Major Disaster fuck up tradition called the 389 purchase, was upheld!!-
Off went the pack down Warrimoo
Avenue ( meaning in Aboriginal
language “place of an eagle’) then on
through the reserve to Phillip Road as Last Card Looney, arriving late,
sprinted after the pack finally catching up to Darwin Don, ( now made famous through his great relative Charles) , Polly Unsaturated and Hanoi Bill. On On shouted Last
Card, with such Gusto that Hanoi
was totally startled and went A over
T, as the walking stick was launched
into the air like a javelin just missing
Polly’s vitals.
Hanoi Bill disqualified by 4X for having assistance
Back on Warrimoo Avenue, God Knows was getting drenched and hi tailed it back to 4X base camp As the walkers emerged from the bush on the bitumen road in the Wildflower gardens, Flying Scotsman, Superglue and Lurch appeared from nowhere as the medium and long trails were now combined to then descend into the depths of the ravines of Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park.
Carefree and S Bends, waking sticks in hand looking like 2 trekkers in PNG, were enjoying the rain trodden track as they
carefully negotiated the steep hills The track was like ice as the front runners
of Moishe, Flying Scotsman, Your Choice
and Kitty Litter made a break on the rest with Lighting directing the runners right and walkers straight ahead
As Goanna and David arrived at the intersection, Lightning explained to the
dynamic duo unless you are a good runners you would not finish in time. To which Goanna, (with David sheepishly agreeing), said to Lightning – Fuck it –
Grape is here!
Polly came across a previous SES foray for the missing Mrs Coote as Lurch announced he had seen a facsimile of the Mrs Coote in the Gordon shopping centre a few weeks earlier – was this a giant hoax?, had 4X prior knowledge of this ?or was Changi’s secret garden (refer Run Report 2473) being used by Mrs Coote The going was tough as the pack gently negotiated down the hills and then up the other side – was this 4X’s sense of humour as Hanoi, Major Disaster, Tooth Fairy and Baron von drut climbed hand over hand through Kokoda type country. The rain had made the slopes so slippery that desperation called for a “hands on Bum” technique to project each hashman to the next rock shelf. It was during one of these steep slopes that Baron, fearing a helping hand on his arse from E Shit, faked a mini black out to avoid the experience of an E Shit touch up!!
It was indeed a slippery slide
down the cliff faces (or undulating country in 4X code)
as Polly, Tooth Fairy, Baron von Drut and Major Disaster negotiated the 4 X territory. There was a falsey at upper Cowan creek with the pack
mingling around to find the trail as Super’s nose for trails but not bodies was well evident as he found the trail. Meanwhile Lurch had avoided the outward bound rock climbing experience and had
found an earlier 4X trail that started 50m south of the one below the top waterfall. However intelligence coming into 4X HQ reported that Lurch cut short the runners trail
by running through an on back – obviously Lurch’s posh cunning has not deserted him!
The pack had finally reached the top after over an hour ( typical timing for a 4X Run)
and were now on the home trail running along Timbarra Road. The pack was now
exhausted, not just from the rock climbing experience but also looking, smelling and
searching for the lost soul and red wine along the run. However Ayatollah had his
special antennae in action as he found the bottle of 4X’s finest red wine not far from
Timbarra Avenue. 4X Finest Red Stalvin Cap ( by Amcor)
But on close inspection of the highly advertised wine, Ayatollah exclaimed “Egad – another 4X trick fake” – the wine was none other than a handwritten 4X label which the devious hare described as “bright red rather than the contents which also carry a toxic label that I put on the bottle. The wine was a 2004 Merlot cleanskin, drinkable but not outstanding.” – SHAME 4X for this deception of quality and misrepresentation. There were many stories at the bucket as the pack arrived back a bunch of bedraggled, exhausted sodden hashmen, repelete with scratches and blacken limbs. Somehow Baron Von Drut was guided up the cliffs by E Shit and Jack the Ripper and was relieved to arrive back at the bucket unscathed.
“Jeremy – now fair shake of the sav bottle mate – I never looked like getting lost – I am not forking out another bottle of 389 – I will ask 4X for one his finest instead”. The rain had required President PeeDub to reconnoiter the area and with his well honed skills, the On On was set up under cover at Warrimoo Oval – well done Pee Dub!! With the rain still descending from the heavens, a scrumptious meal was served consisting of Moroccan chicken smothered with Captain Bligh’s special sauce accompanied by delicious salads – what a committee!! Indeed there was some altercation as Major Disaster and Goonshow had widely differing opinions of the run – Major was heard saying – “I am convinced that 4X had contrived a plan to get me lost and then pocket another bottle of my 389 reserve”.
4X was given the traditional down down for another 4X classic ( i.e fucking hard!) and to the return of Lurch and to Baron Von Drut for having a mini snooze on the trail but finishing safely. Grape took over from the President, as he is known to do on occasions, to congratulate the resilient David (Goanna Business Partner) for returning to another Posh run for a dose this time of 4X punishment and to thank him for the Major Disaster tradition of a bottle of Penfolds 389. Goanna also honoured this tradition, steeped in Hash storytelling and entrusted another bottle of 389 to Smiley for safekeeping in Spud’s absence.
President Pee Dub giving baron a down down Tic Toc back in top Tip Top form
for sleeping on the run
4X had succeeded in keeping his reputation intact (we don’t have to say anymore do we!) but he has to be acknowledged for his marathon effort in setting an extremely difficult Run with 3 trails. He will now have to front the SES empty handed with no missing person and unfinished business still remaining!!
On On next week to the Joint Run, January 27th – it will be tame after this Run
Your Hash Journey – where you went courtesy of Your Choice
Distance: 6.43km
Elevation gain: 246m
Calories burnt: 283C
Skinned knees: 43
Number of expletives uttered: a f’ing lot
A over T’s – at least half a dozen
- Run No 2882 January 27th: Joint Run – tba – Hosted by Thirsty
- Run No 2883 February 2nd: Plunger