JEEZ ! IT’S HARD, THE LAST TWO WEEKS I WENT TO TWO AUDITIONS FOR THE UGLY SISTER IN CINDERELLA,
AND THE BASTARDS DIDN’T GIVE ME THE PART, SO I WILL BE JOINING YOU AGAIN NEXT WEEK
IT WASN’T SANTA’S REINDEER, SO WAS IT ANY ONE WE KNOW ?
It occurred few weeks ago now. I have been keeping very quiet about it, waiting in a nervous state of fear and trepidation for an official letter of outrageous complaint to arrive. None have, or at least I haven’t heard of or sighted one, it therefore now seems safe now to publicize this unfortunate occurrence.
By the way before I start, it wasn’t HIM because it happened during HIS Run. So much didn’t happen on that particular evening, so it is not hard to forget.
If I recall, I had become misplaced or temporarily lost and was lagging a long way behind anyone when, as I was wearily trudging passed a well tendered nature strip somewhere or another, a small, rotund creature, I think it was female, sprung out of the bushes, shrieking “you’re another one of those !”, pointing an accusing finger at me.
Well, I have never previously had my sexual preferences challenged, so I backed away from “her” totally confused. I then realized her red enameled, fat finger was directed at the Hash insignia on my t-shirt. Almost in tears, having got my attention, she gesticulated at a Christmas Bush in flower bed which looked as it had recently received some rough attention. The perpetrator of this monstrous deed had left behind some well trodden foot prints, not hoof marks.
“I say……,” I said, or some such soothing words I had heard on a recent television show from the UK, and bent down to quickly repair the damage. My concern and my interest in restoring her precious little patch of garden, fortunately touched a responsive cord.
“You’re not like that other one,” she said getting somewhat close and personal. To try and divert her attention, I asked for a description. “Oh, over weight, loose of tongue, slack of jaw. A dreadful person, lumbering in attitude and posture,” she said with a great deal of venom. “And what’s more he smelt ,” she added for good measure.
“ I see” I said, “I will look into it for you, and have a word with him. I can assure you it won’t happen again.” Giving her fat arm a little pat, I hastily stumbled on my way with a wave, a smile ,and wished her Happy Christmas.
As for having a word with “him” (notice the lower case), my difficulty is that the description she gave me could fit so many in the Hash.
THE RED GREMLIN PERSON SAVES THE DAY AS ILLNESS AND INJURY TAKES IT’S TOLL, BRISTLING WITH AUTHORITY AND PURPOSE, WE ARE INDEBTED TO HIM IN PROVIDING THIS ILLUMINATING RUN REPORT
The Run 12th of December number FIK
Due to important family health issues, one of the hares Chastity were forced to abandon his roll, so the Sunday Spud stepped into the job and assisted Horse Whisperer and finally a run was almost cobbled together. The Red Gremlin Person insistent on not allowing The TM not to perform his duty due to his recent knee operation, and stepped in to do the job. Other commitments forced him to reccee the run while helping set it on the day.
The ex Hash man who controls the weather stepped in and held the rain back which had soaked the earth for several days, and about 45 headed off following a trail running parallel to Mona Vale Rd for a short distance with the first false trail under a tunnel. Then all were forced to drop into the slippery bowls of the bush following paper off trail, eventually picking up an old fire trail where three false trails trapped the front runners, especially Lightning and Cinders who seem to have hearing problem and failed to head the “on back call “ of the TM (How anyone would not hear The Red Gremlin Person is somewhat mystifying) and disappeared up a long on back only to re appear 10 minutes later way behind the leaders of the athletic pack.
By the time the non athletic runners and walkers came through, the TM had marked them out; this unfortunately made the Walk a little short especially for XXXX who then continued on completing the run.
We now seem to have three groups, the Runners, the Walkers and the Late Comers mostly led by its leader TIC TOCK who insists on starting time of 0645 for those interested. (we understand he is selling a Vaucluse Property for a lonely rich widow who needs to be kept up to date with the negotiations on a Monday)
A long stretch was now endured running on fire trail on top of the ridge without checks but affording great views. The runners now spread out into two Packs, the TM with the second as they descended some very slippery rock shelves down to the raging creek. Wet feet was the order of the day for the crossing followed a Check which split the pack once more, the more experienced led by the Flying Scotsman headed off in the right direction but trapping the new boy Mr Music. The Trail followed the valley floor until a steep On Back up to the right slowed the experienced Super Glue. The Trail bashed through plenty of water along the trail ensuring those that had previously been able to walk on water got their tootsy’s wet before ascending up through great bush land to Mona Vale Rd that only the Posh Runs can provide. Well done Chastity, Spud and Horse Whisper. And not forgetting the Red Gremlin.
The On On did not happen, as the ex hash man running the weather made it too cold and windy to put on the BBQ, About a dozen made it over to the crowded pub, with most of the Committee opting for dinner at home.
And…Pay-Ling temporary became Pay-Low after celebrating his recent Birthday. He is in good hands at the Royal NSH and should be home and with us soon.
