RUN REPORT DECEMBER 2/WEST PENNANT HILLS, YOUR CHOICE’S CHOICE
“Christ, I’ve heard of God’s Half Acre, but this must be Choice’s Quarter Acre”, lamented Trailmaster Moishe. “All these twists and turns in Choice’s backyard is like the MiniRodent ride at Luna Park–it’s driving me up the wall,” he cried (and not for the first time this week—hello GIO!).
Leaping off the Oratava Avenue landfill-for-sale starting paddock, West Pennant Hills’ hidden treasure—great location for a Bunnings–the jolly pack was soon directed into Choices’ very own tip—sorry, waste management facility. There, our caring hare had dumped his daughter’s old furniture on the intimidated neighbors’ nature strip (the meek shall inherit the turfed out) in the dark of the night before. Needless to say, ah, but we’ll say it anyway, eight of Sydney’s hi-performance Hashers—including Scotsman, Merde Minor, Nautilus, Poly and Plunger–soon found themselves relaxing on the tables and chairs, calling for some of Sommelier ’Show’s finest chardonnay (’Show later was seen instructing his personal peon, one of the above, to deliver his finest selection to members’ impatient receptacles).
The rest of the pack steamed past—through the Choice’s own vestibule, study, den, en-suite, kitchen and thunderbox, slowing only to grab a tinny from the Frigidaire, scaring old dog Riley and young pup Rafferty (who Moishe pointed out does not make the rules). Soon all were enveloped by the Cumberland StateForest, and darting along Darling Mills Creek..until the pack was forced to cross a barbed wire fence that threatened to claim Major Disaster’s knackers through his knickers–to a chorus of snickers. (A little known fact: Major has become a photo buff of late—not a turkey buff, of which more below–using an x-ray camera app—see picture below of one of his latest buff pix of a young lady in Warrawee mall). IncrediblyAyatollah the Peg, and Captain Bligh, and Maximus started talking to the trees (that’s why they put them away..but that was later). In the meantime, they noted that all the trees have names like Pittosporum, Acacia melanoxylon, Pachycereu,s Lobelia Tupa, Birch, sonofa Birch, Echinocereus dahliaeflorus, phalangium ephemerum virginianum, these arboretumi were right on top of the lexicon. Even some moss took a lichen to a tree. Smiley recognised the dreaded bunya that not only drops giant cones on any one below, but has been known to actually hurl them at innocent bystanders.
Another of Choice’s neighbors, walking his two dogs, who said his name was “Two Dogs Something” asked, in that innocent way people do just before they holler for a ranger, are we by chance Harrys? Despite denials, neighbor immediately claimed to have run with HKH3 and knew many exploits of Centrepoint, Bumcrack and Super (what happens on trail…).
A run so cleverly crafted by Your Choice and family deserved Thanks, and got it at the great Thanksgiving OnOn replete with roast turkey. Chef Pilko sourced the finest white flesh he could find at Woolies (not IGA)..and asked her if she had big firm experience. No she replied but she did have big firm breasts, and these were presented to the gourmands of the Posh. Chef Pilko when asked which side of the turkey has the most feathers, authoritatively responded, the outside. Chef teamed this delicacy with home-made corn fritters–Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where’s popcorn? –deep-fried chips, green beans and of course cranberry sauce. Sad note, one jar was unhappy not to be used and was dubbed blueberry for his trouble.
Celebrities in attendance included Darwin back from a bout with pneumonia which he has won on points,Granpa E Shit Sr sporting a Grapelike-beard, who with Joshua and a few other disciples has returned having walked over the Wall of Jericho–in Tassie! (don’t mention the wall—Moishe), Scud in his China ambassadorial role, who with Maid Marion went extreme trekking—ok driving in a Land Rover–through Tibet, which these days has a four-lane highway to the top of Everest, and FoxyFacey who has been in the Blue Mountains. Scud also made an appearance as Tyre Fruck, and God Knows as Darwin, and really only their mothers could tell them apart (tnx Jungle). Presidential Pilgrim Music entertained the thankful flock by posing the musical question: “What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?” To a chorused response of “a turkey that can pluck itself!”
Original jokes were dispensed by PeeDub & TToc so bad members thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbour.