The Sydney Mooning Hareld
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First Run 1967       O N  O N .   A L W A Y S .     Number 2462   Sept 8, 2014

RUN REPORT SEPTEMBER 8/ KILLARA / MOISHE & SHY & RETIRING COMMITTEE

Distance: 6ks / Short Run: 5.13ks / Walk: 4.2ks / Mooch: 2.1ks / Elevation Gain: 102m / Calories burnt: 580

Oh Lourdes!..Music’s All Stars come to an end

So PeeDub’s Platoon must make amends..PShhh

“Just set last month’s run in reverse, Moishe” was the impertinent suggestion of some.  No Sir.  Retiring Trailmaster Moishe creatively crafted an excellent run as tight as the anticipated twat of later in the evening, opined Darwin. Stumping out of Lourdes Retirement Village, its magnetism attracting several members, Grape, Scud and Superglue slid into Swains for a touch of bush (anticipating same a little later, opined Irish and Dr Jekyll).   Moments later Tyre Fruck and Poly headed up Karranga and did a little dog leg into Kylie (with eager thoughts of what lay ahead, opined Wrappa).  Through the darkness of Quarry Master’s Forest, Bunny and Pedantic, had low thoughts of another forest expected later, opined Khyber and Tartan.  The pack finally caught up with Rommel (suffering a sporting injury..he took a gimme drop using a golf cart battery and scored a toe in one) and Son of a Gun who damaged his shoulder tackling the solid Saltpetre playing family charades.  Almost immediately the pack, now headed by Smackers and Goonshow groped their way along Birdwood and over The Crest, giving rise to lascivious drooling re later in the evening, opined Major and Hanoi Bill.  At last the pack emerged from the darkness to the welcome morsels of Jungle Jim’s and Pilko’s tasty treat appetisers which were decidedly fishy, being crab croquettes, and meaty, being swollen and skewered balls, harbingers of what would be laying on the table  later, opined Toothfairy and Jock.

Maximus and San Francisco exclaimed excitedly when Master Chef Mistress Stephanie brought out scrumptious entrees of smoked salmon and peeled prawns.  Little Shit and Pheasant Plucker were equally effusive at the sight of the main course, Doris Karloff’s shapely shanks, and creamed their potato mash at once.  Sticky date pudding was to follow  matched with Goonshow-chosen sticky liquid, that gave rise to some salacious thoughts of Saltpetre and BTG, opined Payling and Virginus.  Sandwiched between multigrain slices of this culinary delight…were The Awards!     A splendid dog and pony act was staged ..actually a Kitty Cat and Moishe Muskrat ramble—with some most deserving members  honoured..(see pix)..complete list in the Commemorative Year Book.. with notable mention of that one and only Poshman, Pilko, awarded to unanimous acclaim with the Outstanding Effort Trophy.

And then the Posh Choristers, exemplifying the value of rehearsal, presented a medley of the year’s most-requested not to perform numbers (only kidding, the most requested number was..0)…X-Factor meets Biggest Loser.  The enthusiastic audience of active members—a record number not seen since Darwin’s 90th a night of debauchery laced with erotic dancing—embraced a series of climaxes that concluded the evening of chutzpah.  The first, taking a cue from Goon’s sticky offering, the severely sticky Matron of Lourdes entered with a wonderful rendition of “Hey Big Senior,” and proceeded to educate members in an informative undress on living with the elderly.  Matron recommended vigorous exercise..for example splits, vaginal yawning, and askance scanties.   Wrappa and Ayatollah nodded in agreement, even Goonshow’s body of work (or needs work?) contributed as a guinea piglet. Matron really performed superbly (see pix) especially since the Committee had declined the offer of Susan Boyle to open up for the Posh. Finally, well almost finally, the shy and retiring All-Star Committee welcomed the Incoming Committee, each with his own signature melody.

With that Flasher rounded up the pack to sit, lean, stand and squat for an historic group photo..something not attempted for nearly 500 Runs, and before that 1500 Runs (the 1,000th in 1986..see Year Book for re-visit of that fascinating frolic).  And now, finally upon a collective yawn, and being so late that residents were about to arrive for morning Farex and prune juice, each member was presented with a genuine Akubra Wagyu leather folio filled with must-have trinkets, a litre of Old Mice deodorant, Ashley & Martin hair restorer, Brylcreem, Veet for nose and ear hair, and a Lady Gaga self-creaming hand puppet..oh, and the Year Book.  Then Music and the All-Stars collected their egos and happily hurried into the night, to right wrongs and bring happiness and fulfilment to the world.

Next Week: FLYING SCOTSMAN & YOUR CHOICE  

Run 2463: Monday, September 15, 2014 –6:30p.m.

HARE:           FLYING SCOTSMAN & YOUR CHOICE (where has he been lately?)

START:           CORNER OF COWELL STREET AND VICTORIA ROAD, GLADESVILLE 

PARKING:     To the  right or left as you travel down Cowell Street from Victoria Road

ON-ON:            Star of Thailand Lebanese Restaurant, 156 Victoria Rd, Gladesville

TORCHES?     Yes, very important. Remember that Muslim Islamic Caliph who was in such a State last time? Reminded everyone of Simmo? Well he might get ya.

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THIS RUN:

“This will of course be a quality run, the start of a new era in Hashing and the product of two outstandingly talented Hares.
I am also sometimes known to tell tales and exaggerate a little”.

SH3 AGM…

Poshmen All…With just the SH3 AGM, last Monday, September 8, one or two have still to pay their dues!

Same as last year, ie just $230, plus a piddling $30 for the OnOn, total $260.  And you get those Commemorative goodies you’ll treasure.

SH3 St George Bank account
Account Name:  Sydney Hash House Harriers
BSP: 112 879
Account: 154 706 831
Ref: YrHashNameDues.

—…and so we say farewell and wish PeeDub, and his hand-picked Committee, Smiley (“When you’re Smiling”), White Shit (“Nine-to-Five”), Centrepoint (“Money, Money, Money”), Little Shit (who promises to be a Big Shit, “Drink, Drink, Drink”), Spud (“Bugle Boy of Company B”), Captain Bligh (“What do you do with a Drunken Sailor?”), Nautilus (“Hoo-ray up he Rises”), Lightning (“Greased Lightning”), and Ayatollah (“The Whole Town’s Talking about the Jones Boy”) much success and fulfilment as they attend to our every Hash need for the next year of Posh history….