Tweety Pie & Tartan Bed – Melbourne Cup Eve
The field had lined up for the SH3 race of the year with Tweety Pie and Tartan bed
having cleverly laid a trail that was either going to be the Run of the year or fuckup of
the year. In anticipation of this likely outcome, Wally Grout had emerged from his Manly cave, Grape had just returned from Germany, and Jack the Ripper was back looking well
after his scare at Balmoral.
Meanwhile Ayatollah and Captain Bligh had to pass the hat around as Tweety had so
well organized the food that the local Indian entrepreneur, Rashid, wanted cash up front
– fortunately we raked up the loot to ensure the boys were fed. There was a good size pack of some 40 hashmen who headed off with Tweety giving clear and concise instructions -“its long run, so only runners should do it, not walkers”! Unfortunately he must have picked up some Indian dialect and was not understood by some of the Posh who knew better (more later). Flanked by the pissed off tennis players who could not park at their tennis courts, Moishe, Cinders, Little Shit, Superglue and Changi headed off down the beautiful bush trail heading towards Manly Dam.
Lightning, shadowed by Johnno, was not going to get lost this week given his fall from grace, and was sticking to the trail like glue and Kitty Litter now fully recovered from his
rear end work was showing a fresh set of heels as he followed in close pursuit. Box Kite, dressed in his revolutionary red shirt was the honoury walker’s trailmaster this week after Druid had been distracted this week by Smut Corner and sacked from the role! With a check just above the shoreline, Hanoi Bill, Mr Neat ,Simmo, Lost Patrol and Baron Von Drut were led along the shoreline with Plunger and his mate Nigel (of Helsal fame) surging ahead, reminiscent of their halcyon single days when Plunger was known as the Gladesville Romeo, a reputation he vehemently denied.
The 9km runners trail now left the walkers at the south eastern end of the reserve as it crossed over to the other side of the dam. The extra length was even taking its toll on Moishe whose former glory days were well behind him and Goanna (short of hearing these days) were both finding the going tough. Cinders, Plunger and Spud however were sprinting ahead enjoying the opportunity to step out on a great bush trail. Back on the walkers there was a long falsey that petered out to nothing with no on back greatly pissing off Scud and Payling ,who could hear the rest of the pack about 30m away and proceeded to bush bash, like elephants in the forest and appeared from nowhere to join the rest of the pack. JTR was going great guns on his first run back and Nigel was being pressured to tell
Smiley about more black dog stories and Plunger – shame Smiley, Grape and Wally Grout were now back at the bucket swapping their European stories after their absence from the Hash for some time including the viewing of the German U1 in Munich. Unfortunately when discussing the merits of this sub with Nautilus (our resident sub expert) Grape failed to mention that the German sub (1904) was actually based on French ingenuity and engineering not German, one Maxim Laubeuf!!
Lighting with son Johnno in tow decided that it was better to be wiser than braver and ran the walkers run and, for once in at least 3 weeks, did not get lost. Most of the pack were at the bucket with God Knows salivating at the prospect of getting a nag on the Melbourne Cup and Scud who was heard to say under muffled tones that the run was well set, apart from his aggravation of the previous unmarked on back. The latecomers who had ambitiously underestimated the 9km runners trail were Saltpeter, Grape as well as Goanna who had complained that the run was too long. “Too long?” Goanna – remember the Hares words of wisdom at the start!! The depleted committee minus President Peedub and Hash Cash CP, fully appreciated the opportunity to exert its independence and made it a formal evening replete with dinner shirts and bow ties to add some class to the evening. Little Shit had successfully extracted the $30 sting as dinner, comprising of Indian food, disguised as soup ( bring back Pilko) was served to the 38 or so who stayed as well as being treated to Ayatollah’s personally prepared fruit salad – well done Ayatollah.
After Little Shit in his dulcet tones called for down downs to the Hares, Wally Grout, JTR and Grape, the highlight of the evening was the drawing of the lottery for the Melbourne Cup which met the highest standards of probity and governance as demanded by the State Lotteries Board. With Spud reading Smiley’s illegible handwriting and Captain Bligh doing the paperwork under sufferance, the 22 horses were successfully drawn. Humour was called for however without our resident joke tellers Peedub and Tic Toc lavishing themselves in Thailand with exotic delights), Tweety was the sole offerer for the night. After all the stirring and last minute logistics, the walk and run was well set and sited in
great bushland country, reminding the Hash of how fortunate we are to have this hashing country so close to a major city. Thanks Tweety and Tartan for a well set run in an excellent location, but next time leave the food negotiation to the committee
On On next week to the North Shore Wanderers 10th anniversary run!
Your Hash Journey – Summary of Run 2470
Distance: 9.2km – Walkers 5.5
Elevation gain: 202m
Calories burnt: shit loads for Goanna