Run No. 2601 – 1st May 2017

$14 steaks and $38 bottles of wine

Tonight was the annual Centre Point and White Shit pilgrimage to the stone-age suburb of Woolwich. I think this ritual is just to see how many Poshmen are prepared to pay 38 bucks for a bottle of house wine – de Bortelli what’s more!

The only bush around these parts is the glow-in-the-dark piece of dirt named after a famous bushranger and of course the Hares took advantage of it after the pack had circumnavigated Woolwich Dock and Clark’s Point Park. Following that the trail headed to Centre Point’s port Stop in the salubrious Pulpit Point estate – Hanoi Bill mentioned that the runners don’t drink port but then half of them stuffed-up the trail and missed it completely anyway. For the few that managed to stay On they were tempted when trail crossed the main drag and the long onbacks down to the Lane Cove River jerked a few chains.

So the pack’s return to the Bucket was very scrappy – runners in 35 mins before walkers, before real runners and real walkers – the hare distributed copies of the trail map to the short-cutters like Goon Show whose dulcet tones of displeasure at missing the port stop could be heard at Cockatoo Is. BTG let Bumcrack bolt away from him with a short walk map in Clark reserve so just dawdled straight to the Beer, the location of which rivalled that of  Kitty Litter’s Birchgrove soiree a few weeks ago. As an aside Bumcrack was later seen in the middle of Gale St. wrestling with the zapper to Wombat’s car –he still had plenty of energy.

The On at the Woolwich Pier Hotel was a bit of a circus – with $14 steaks, everyman and his dog on the Hunters Hill peninsular was there for a cheap feed – note to self “don’t let dickhead staff put 10 people on the same buzzer” because the chef thinks “that’s a big group so they won’t be in a hurry” FFS. Most drank wine by the glass or expensive craft beer whilst rich bastards Druid and Tic Toc rounded up 19 bucks each to buy a bottle of red – any of the other brave investors had to use crowd-funding.

As the “10 on the same buzzer” were just tucking into their steaks in the quaint “Clubhouse” the Pres took to his feet for the Down Downs. As always Hares first – Centre Point and White Shit with CP being very critical of WS’s manners in not pushing his chair in to allow the big bloke passed. We had a visitor from Alberta – a Wombat-eer but The Wom disowned him ‘cause he was a lawyer. Jock the Sock stumbled to get his beer for who knows what.

When it came to humour Pee Dub christened his new glasses – Heston Blumenthal-esque – and Frank was dead for ducking. Wee Willy was m.i.a, so White Shit, with his new haircut stood in and Lee Trevino and Gary Player shared in the golfer’s jokes before French Connection had a hard-on and soft tits – Molly Meldrum just avoided an elbow in the head from an articulate Tic Toc but got a pash instead as TT romanced May Day.

On On
Bigamist