Run 2276 – 7th Feb 2011

Superglue and Spud Liquid Nail it in Frenchs Forest

POSH Tribune         MEMO
Google Earth : Run 2276, 1 hr 6m

Bwana Matata,

Your piece on Lord Pilko was an outright slur on famed and favourite Sydney sider gay community, and it also totally misrepresented the growing number of Republican supporters in this fair land.  I’ve no doubt that even in the POSH hash there are more than just a few who would secretly like self-rule in the name of a republic, just as they would from “her indoors”.

I also strongly suggest that you keep your weekly despatches less ethically, religiously and homophobically contentious, otherwise I will put your arse on the line if we are served up any writs for defamation and libel.  We’ve already received a nasty letter from the solicitors of that knee buckling, beer branded and bellied bloke called XXXX, whom I note in your written Tribunal hearing response to his letter of alleged defamation, has been demoted to down XXX.

Yours….. Douglas,

Douglas, you Dozy Dildo

You whine that I don’t I don’t give you material on truly unusual Hashmen. You dope, an unusual Hashman would be a normal person from the general community. These Hashmen are all unusual, in fact they are all downright abnormal.

An example is the current Trail Master.  This Hashman has the appearance and behaviour of an agitated toilet brush and goes by the Hash name of the Grape Ape and more recently No Good Boyo (renaming of Hashmen seems to be a recent prevalent fad under the current junta – Goonshow to Short Fuse, Fig Jam to FON, XXXX to XXXX XXX).

This Hashman is one of your more abnormals (only outdone by E Shit, who is really out there).  Some examples may give you a general idea.

Walking tours is one of his extracurricular activities.  This in itself is not unusual.  However his training for these tours is, In an effort to get himself fit or induce a trance, he loads his pack with six house bricks, a refrigerator and a small car on walks with considerable topographical challenge.

He eschews the carrying of water as this is a sign of weakness.  If near salt water he may drink as he claims the salts are good for the system (no wonder he is as mad as a hatter). He has resigned from the Hash Walking Group as he claims they are too soft.  Anything less than a 50km route march with a 1000m climb and descent, all completed within a day, is really just a Sunday afternoon stroll.

On his little 8 day route march in New Zealand, not wanting to look out of the place with his friends from “Lord of the Rings”, he ducked into the film set wardrobe and make up department to have himself look more like an aging Hobbit;  a bit like Bilbo really ….or is it ‘Dildo Baggins’.

In his mind there is no such thing as private space. In my first discussion with him I thought he must have been a dentist or a dermatologist.  He was that close that he could examine the pores on my face or the back of my tonsils.  No amount of backing up will provide you with the necessary margin of safety.

I will provide you with more at a later date

Your intellectual  superior,

Bwana Matata

The POSH Tribune has recently received one or two female like whinging complaints from our advertisers and sponsors about the weekly run reports being too liberal with the truth, defamatory about the hares and unkind to a number of the pack who regularly attend the On-On’s, the weekly Run Report will from now on be prepared and issued by the On Sec.

The Bwana Matata files will be sent to you separately and directly from douglasmacaroni@gmail.com.au In the rare case that one or two of you may not wish to receive these editorials please Unsubscribe by giving us your concise and considered reason why in as many words as required.

Yours sincerely

Douglas Macaroni

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Run :  2276, 7th Feb 2011

Hare: Superglue and Spud – Liquid Nail it in Frenchs Forest

The South End of Ken’s Road saw the group of professional hash men lining up to tackle the trails freshly prepared by Super and Spud.

The neighbours were pleased to have us in down there in Ken’s Road to celebrate the 50^th birthday of Barbie’s former partner Ken.   The couple separated in 2004 after Aussie Boogie Boarder “Blaine” muddied the waters.  Ken is known to be hoping for a reconciliation in 2011.

http://www.news.com.au/gallery-e6frflw9-1226000022962?page=16

The early portion of the run had been marked on Sunday and the spot of rain overnight and on Monday morning made the paper difficult to follow.   Hashmen were heard to expound – “Are we on Jeremy”, “call it Jeremy”, not sure what the point of that was however the chalk and paper improved as the run went on.  Music earned a PB this week – at least 2 hash men were prepared to believe his call of On On.  Le Petite Merde left the front runners about half way through the trail seeking greener pastures and shorter trails.  Apparently we had run this way in 1972…

A good mix of open Fire trails, walking tracks and virgin territory, even “take care” messages inscribed on the ground by the caring sharing Hares made for a great run.  Front Runners returned in 1hr 5m, the back markers, some time later.  Some nearly missed out on the curry around at Ajmers.  Good use of territory and as the Google Map shows, a (curried) sausage trail, plenty of checks, none of which really held the FRB’s – a candidate for ROTY.

The On On was at Ajmers Indian Restaurant, 65 Sorlie Road Frenchs Forest.  Good sized venue for the Hash.  Close call on for the Pizza Hut in the strip shops for a delivery.

Khyber was back and in fine form, wielding his cane from on high.  E-Shit hissed from the pews.  There were Down Downs for Superglue, Darwin, Simmo, The Flying Virgin, Visitors, Last Card & Kitty.  Pee Dub read a few jokes, Tic Toc told us a good one.  Darwin was in fine form.  We had a Wombat story, a Hanoi story, Cec’s February abstainers were hard to find, and that was it.  Pheasant Plucker invited all to attend next week’s great run to start in Bayview.  Check the pics Thanks to Tic Toc.

Next Week’s Run – 14th February 2011

Hare: Pheasant Plucker

Where: End of WALTER RD Bayview Heights.  Meet at entrance to Bayview Heights Estate.  Closest House No. is 23

ON ON : Terry Hills Tavern, Best pub food in Sydney award