Report of 2265, 22 November 2010
At the Pasadena Restaurant, Church Point: Brought to you by Tic Toc and his side-kick Last Card Louis.
Google Earth : Run 2265.
POSH Tribune MemoSubject: Tales of the Misfits
- From Douglas Macaroni
- To Bwana Matata
- Date 23-11-2010
Bwana Matata you lazy bastard,
How come you can file a half decent report last week and drop the bundle in the previous weeks? Keep the salacious, juicy stuff from the hash coming in each week or lose your job.
Douglas you Dickehead,
Threats from you won’t make the hash change their spots or colours one bit. They remain a bunch of total misfits irrespective of your views, and besides if you don’t like what is filed with the weekly Posh Tribune you can do it yourself.
Anyway this week a ‘one man wonder’ has come to the fore. What do you call an ever hungry, malfunctioning biological GPS with crook knees and is barely capable of spelling his own name?
Clue: – Some think he belongs to the POSH hash, others think he is a one man hash club on his own. And while you think of that I will report some more on his identity.
A hashman who is unable to give anyone a straight answer to any question, and if you are looking for some information, whatever it might be, then some good old fashion dental work is needed, …..you know ….the type which involves long pliers and piecing forceps to open the mouth properly and extract an answer instead of a tooth.
A hashman who is clearly a geographical genius; is able to quickly sus out the shortest route between two points in the bush, deviate from the marked trail to shortcut, but get utterly lost in the process and hobbles in with bandaged knees, well after the rest of the pack, generally after dark and when the bucket is dry.
He is euphemistically referred to as being “well padded”, as all too often he is first in the queue when it comes to the On-On feeding frenzy, especially now that his late eating mentor and partner, Garbage Guts, has sadly passed on. But his early training has paid off well.
He loves his grog so much that he even persuaded the QLD stable of Tooheys Brewery to make a beer in honour of his name…an easy name to remember. In fact Tooheys loved him so much for his well rounded ‘investment pouch’ that they made a special Gold Label of the same beer.
When applying to join the Jakarta hash (as a young aspiring hashman many years ago), he was asked to fill in his name on their application form. So just like any poor, uneducated peasant from way out in Africa, he filled in the boxes very slowly and very carefully in his best handwriting……….XXXX.
The rest is history.
Up Yours,
Bwana Matata
Report of 2265, 22 November 2010 At the Pasadena Restaurant, Church Point: Brought to you by Tic Toc and his side-kick Last Card Louis ___________________________________________________________________________
To those who actually believed everything in Tic Toc’s dazzling promo for the evening- Tough Shit!
Perambulations Across the Water and in the Bush
A perfect summers evening in a perfect location. Who could ask for more? What could possibly go wrong? Heaps of planning to arrange water transport across Pittwater, consent to use the premier spot at Church Point – the vacant Pasadena Hotel front lawn and veranda with north facing views to Scotland Island, and a menu that JKK would die for…(and did) …..his favourite ‘Thanks Giving’ meal. It all started so well.
Two ferries took the walkers and runners separately to Elvina Bay and EB South with the evening sun sparkling off Pittwater. Although the runners trail was not super stunning or with dramatic changes in scenery, it was great to experience new territory with frequent waterfront views, trails through Cabbage Tree Palm groves and well laid arrows and flour. Walkers and runners trails joined shortly before running downhill track to Halls Point Wharf where Last Card had a refreshing “Bucket on the Beach” waiting for us; along with genuine Yankee Doodle Pop Corn.
So far so good and now all 58 of us looked forward to JFK’s favourite and sumptuous Thanksgiving meal as heavily promoted and promised with that extra $5-00 per head. It was to be a night of nights to remember ……..or was it?
The TM’s Run Marks.
Keeping pack together 4/5
Trail Marking 4.5/5
Trail interest 3.5/5
Moocher attraction 0/5____
Total 12.0
The (Almost) Feeding Frenzy @ The Pasadena on Pittwater
After 47 years the vexing question of how JFK actually died has at last been solved by the POSH Hash. Read on………
As we boarded the ferry home from Halls Point, Changi phoned Buckie, our chef for the night so that the split second timing for the much promoted JFK banquet could be well organised. But on our return to Church Point and having handed over our precious $30-00 bucks, the awful truth hit home. In his frenzied excitement (or is that excrement?) Tic Toc had forgotten to coordinate or confirm with the Roast Turkey provedore, that the main course of the banquet should be roasted and ready for collection by 7.30pm so we could sit down to dinner at 8pm.
FUCK UP….BIG TIME!!
Alas, our Thanksgiving dinner hadn’t even gone into the oven.
At least ‘Gourmet Grape’ had taken it on himself to sweat over a hot stove for most of the previous weekend making our entré…….fresh Clam Chowder soup, and our turkey accompaniments of small dollops of mushed pumpkin, and part cooked sweet corn and fresh Cranberry source ‘with just a hint of ginger’.
And so we waited… and we waited, and we waited some more ….until, at last, the full moon rose above Scotland Island in all its glory.
Eventually Tic Toc returned but instead of hot roast Turkey with all the trimmings, he brought a small esky filled with old, cold dead chook probably cooked last week sometime.
And these chooks must have walked down from QLD as they were the skinniest most anorexic chickens that good money could buy.
Baby boiled spuds was now the only hot food on the dinner the plates. Yup! The Cranberry source was also forgotten in the back of Grape’s car and so we sat down to a dry, cold meal that was totally unforgettable …for all the wrong reasons.
And the answer to how JFK really died?………..He committed suicide.
The reason? By having his favourite meal fucked up so badly …..and seeing his gorgeous mistress Marilyn now looking like….. well………Tic Toc. So who can blame JFK?
The pack having made quick work of the small pieces of dead chicken, which were colder than the ice cream to follow (with dog biscuits -or was it walnuts?), we were then exposed/treated to a floor show by the Blues Brothers…… or were they FBI ‘Feds’, accompanied by Music Man with a new rendition of Bye Bye American Pie.
A lighter, more fun side to an unfortunate meal and an unforgettable evening.
Footnote to Future Hares…..If you promise Big Time…then you must deliver.
Pics thanks to Tic Toc
The Hares Retort
…Let us count the ways:
- Brilliant location to mark the occasion of JFK’s untimely bye bye..200 mtrs from Kennedy Park
- Tiny tinny ferries to speedily transport walkers and runners to their distant wharfs and bucolic trails
- Welcome bucket and nibbles at yet another jetty on the sound
- OnOn on on a grassy knoll with Pittwater lapping at the bank, balmy evening and full moon
- Tiled and covered terrace for enhanced ambience as the breeze freshened
- Clam chowder and sour dough bread, accompanied by Jackie Bouvier Viognier
- Thanksgiving turkey stuffed with cranberries and apple, drizzled with cranberry sauce
- Cold roast chicken, roast seasonal vegetables, teamed with Lee Harvey’s Longshot Shiraz, Marilyn Mourvedre Mataro, Grassy Knoll Grenache and Jack Ruby Red, finishing off with a shot of Boston ice cream served with hot chocolate fudge and pecans
- Modest hares, and self-deprecating chef, seeking no thanks, recognition or notice. Musical tribute to JFK and Marilyn by a trio of multi-tasking secret service agents doused in Miller’s Draft from Milwaukee
- A committee of untiring dedication and humour that, after all the action, leaves the venue is if only fairies had visited.
Hey, 9 out of 10 ain’t bad…OnOnTT
Lyrics by Special Agent LCL Rufus Youngblood
So bye bye to the American Guy
Took a ride through Dallas when the sun was high
Where Lee Harvey Oswald squatted hidden and high, singin’
this is the day that he dies
This is the day that he dies …
Yes, it’s fare thee well to Kennedy, shot by Harvey in the Big D
Then Jack Ruby saw the jail
He went down to the lockup place, shot Harvey Oswald in the face
Saying son… “here’s your mail.”
And, in the streets the children screamed, the lover’s cried, and the poets dreamed, but…
Not a word was spoken – the church bells all were broken
When Monroe heard she looked aside, for another man to sleep beside
Caught the last train for the coast the day the music died
So bye bye to JFK
Took a ride through Dallas on this day
When Lee Harvey Oswald sighted his prey, singin’
this is the day that he died
This is the day that he died .
Next Week’s Run 2266: 29 November 2010
Hares: Music Man & Bunny Trapper
Location: Little Manly Point Park (the old Gas Works Site), Little Manly, at south end of Stuart Street
Run with topless beaches, virgin bush, ferries, scenic views, historical sites and gourmet meal to follow
On On: On site with a wet weather contingency
The Menu: Music Man’s very own “Wattle Grove” lamb fillets marinated in seeded mustard and mint jelly (as procured for the Hilton Hotel’s top restaurant); with potato salad, tossed garden salads with dressing, followed by fresh fruit salad with orgasmic yoghurt prepared by our very own ‘Your Choice’