XXXX ADMINISTERS THE LAST RITES TO THE SUMMER RUNS AT RIVERVIEW
Farther Louie, when approached at Riverview School for a comment, paused, took a sip of the altar wine and said he wasn’t sure whether it was a Winter Run in Summer or Summer Run in Winter. It was probably a bit of both. A bit of Bush and a bit of Bitumen.
Whichever it was, XXXX seems to have mellowed somewhat from his previous gut-busting efforts. Cinders when approached for his views on the Run said,“ XXXX promised to get us all home before dark. That it would be short and snappy but interesting, and it was all of that.” He did add however, that the evil smelling Check Back at the sewerage works went some way to restoring XXXX’s reputation. “But I must say it seems that the Leeches at Turramurra, have drained away a little of his normal cantankerousness,” said Cinders.
Well, well, well. It is amazing what the passing of the years can do for some of us. So there is still hope for Hanoi and Major Disaster. But Stunning Jack and some others, possibly need to spend a few more years mellowing in the bottle according to Carefree, who is an astute judge of aged vintages.
As the Trick Cyclists had taken off to who knows where, we were pleased that Voetsak and Adolf’s Mate turned up for the Last Rites. AM said how much he, Moon Beams, Show Pony and Crocodile appreciated the food parcels being sent to them. They realised they were generally scraps from the OnOns but they were high quality scraps.
With bums on bikes disappearing over the horizon, the numbers of the devoted who turned up for the last Summer Run on a beautiful evening were somewhat diminished. We have to report that the absentees not only missed out on an excellent Run but also missed yet another delicious meal served up by Fryer-a-Duck, The Caught Jester, Circus Maximus, Basket Pressed and their helpers.
With Winter Runs and the accompanying servings of Tie, Eye-Tie and Ching-Chong on the menu in future, we will sadly miss not only the exceptionally high standard of the Cuisine served up each week but also the studied and patient dedication to culinary detail displayed by all involved. Their efforts provided outstanding OnOns I am sure we all would all agree, I frankly cannot remember any previous Hasher Caters who maintained such high standards week after week.
Namibian ‘Sperm Hunters’ picking up Australian male travellers
Gangs of women in Namibia have been picking up international male travellers to have sexual intercourse and harvest their sperm, according to reports.
In Namibia recently, Susan Dhliwayo claims she pulled her car over to pick up a group of overseas male runners and they refused to get in, because they feared they were going to be raped. “Now, men fear women. They said: ‘we can’t go with you because we don’t trust you’,” 19-year-old Miss Dhliwayo recounted. Local media have reported victims of the highway prowlers being drugged, subdued at gun or knife point – even with a live snake in one case – given a sexual stimulant and forced into repeated sex before being dumped by the roadside. The Sperm Hunters first surfaced in the local press in 2009 but police have only arrested three women, found with a plastic bag of 31 used condoms in October. The attacks have continued since they were nabbed for allegedly violating 17 men. “We do not have the exact number of confirmed cases but surprisingly, several of them are elderly Australians”, said national police spokesman Wayne Bvudzijena.
Our Canuck Correspondent reported that Hashmen, who are known to be regular visitors to Namibia, declined to be interviewed when he approached them for a comment.