Tic-Toc’s Dilemma: ‘Your Choice or Hobson’s Choice’
Our hares had the luck of the Irish, or is that Scottish, or maybe even Celtic? Well…. with such names as ‘Maclagan’ and ‘Charles’ what else would you expect?
Leaving our work places and homes close to the city, the black clouds hung down heavily and steady rain sprayed onto the windscreen as we drove to the ‘Hill of Beans’ aka Pennant Hills, where all the fun, action and drama of was promised, as of course all Tic-Toc’s hyperbolic promos do.
After JFK’s favourite Thanksgiving (fiasco) feast on the Grassy Knoll (aka Church Point) failed to materialise two years ago, the nagging thought drummed through my mind…’Had Tic-Toc actually remembered to order and collect the evening meal?” At $25-00 a pop, oily KFC drumsticks and chips was the last thing any of us would want to stomach.
But not 2 kms from the appointed rendezvous at the north end of Schofield Parade, the rain miraculously eased off and God (who must be a hashman at heart) made way for a run without wet feet. Well almost!
It had hardly rained, if at all, throughout the trail territory.
Although easily accessible, this part of Pennant Hills is unfamiliar territory for us Poshmen. I don’t why but there it is, and so what a great pleasure it was that we ducked off into fresh territory and best of all scenic woodland paths, fire trails, tracks and even burned out hillsides ….but only for a short while. Better still…the trail was well marked out too, exceptional for our Tic-Toc, or was that the ever humble Your Choice …..as I somewhat suspect. Despite his deference to longer standing hashmen, YC has set more runs in the last 2 or 3 years than most hashmen have in well over a decade. I’ve long maintained that many of the longest standing hashmen have forgotten the secret hash art of trail setting, or have simply lost their passion. Your Choice is relatively new (time-wise) but just as enthusiastic as the late 1970’s members would have been, and ever mindful of the limitations of our septuagenarian mates…and those closing in on them.
True to his namesake there were plenty of choices on the run: Hill work, up through rock outcrops, 3 or 4 hilltop views across the valley, down into the valley past a young group of fillies (Brownies in the making, I wonder), across Zig-Zag Creek a couple of times, onto woodland paths with springy leaf mulch to soften our padding footfalls, and even a small rock climb with a garden hose…a first in my experience.
The only small glitch was storming out onto Boundary Road whereas the trail did a devious dog-leg back down Erowra Creek which became our home trail. This caught several runners and walkers including your scribe but we were corrected by TM Salty shortly before nightfall. However the whole run was entirely off bitumen, concrete or any artificial surface. Good work hares and another top summer to be noted for the season.
What about the On-On Party I hear you ask!
It’s hard to know if Tic-Toc missed his true calling in life. Was he destined to close high-end market real estate deals, tread the boards in classic vaudeville style, or be a full time hashman?……Or as it appears from the recent history and the flood of emails to this journo…..all three. Thus the call for period clobber and in particular Humphrey Bogart “koool 1940’s gear” or Moroccan/Bedouin look-alikes or whatever, resulted in the pack arriving for the On-On having turned out various ladies wardrobes, millinery departments and raided the kitchen chequered tea towels. A motley lot to be sure. Not so Tic-Toc who was gaudily donned in air-force attire circa 1940 or other (courtesy of various Op-shops and his own
expansive theatrical wardrobe. Cheap Charlie looked anything but….suave to a detail other than the Real Cheap Charlie 70 years ago had black trousers and a white jacket and not the other way around.
The rest of us donned Red Fez’es, kaftans and smocks pencilled in pencil moustaches (it is Movember after all) and played a pantomime part.
The long promised Gin Slings failed to materialise on each table…rumours swirled about budget cut backs for the night’s block buster movie. Nothing like that EVER happened 70 years ago!
And YES…Tic Toc had ordered and collected the evening meal this time. Tanjine as he called it. Sure it
was an authentic Bedouin dish. It had to be with the finest cuts of camel toe, goats testicles and sheep’s arse accompanied with fresh Spring vegies…potatoes, carrots or something that looked like suspiciously
that; all brewed in copious amounts of water. It really couldn’t get more authentic than that. It was flavoured and coloured as well. The Couscous was as dry as ….well… the Sahara desert, which is just as well because it helped soak up the flavoursome gravy. Ohh and ‘Leb Bread’ carefully stuck on top too, by Druid.
Emperor Darwin Don couldn’t wait to see the long anticipated “Floor Show” before the fruit salad dessert was served up.
Sam the “Blackened” Piano (Music) man tinkled the ivories to the tune of “As time Goes By” with the ever gorgeous Ingrid Bergman by his side. OR was it? Methinks NOT! Wrapped up in a wide brimmed hat and full facial pink scarf and with a distinctly Scotsman style tang to her falsetto squeaks, the theatrical casting manager made a poor choice. Of all gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, a ring-in ‘delicious dame’ was not on hand to entertain the boys. I told you the razor gang had cut the budget.
But we all had a laugh and thanks to Tic-Toc and Your Choice for all their hard work to lay on a night with humour and a real difference…and that’s hat its all about..isnt it?
Your Hash Journo
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