The Saintly Magisterium Harald
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First Run 1967 O N O N . A L W A Y S . Number 2444 May 5, 2014
RUN REPORT MAY 5/ GLADESVILLE/ SAINT ROD OF GOD & SAINT MARTYRED MUSIC
“Properium Preparatium Preventium – Posteriorium Penetratium”–so saith The Beatific Saint Rodney of Wagga
Having made his pilgrimage from the Church of Impetuous Indulgence of BananaBenderius to the Catakatoomba and His spiritual Hash House of Wagga Wagga (so good they named it twice), Saint Rodney of Wagga descended upon the Glades of Ville to…wait for it…set a Run. At the very same oasis the wandering Wagga was joined by the Magisterium Martyr Saint Mucus of Music, and together the sainted duo exercised The Hash’s magisterium with the solemnity of countless popes and bishops, whether collectively (as by an episcopal conference) or singly, in written documents such as catechisms, encyclicals and pastoral letters, or orally, as in homilies, as part of the ordinary magisterium of the Hash.
It was also the first time that two such venerable saints were declared Hares on the same day. Immediately out of the pews wereFfourexx the Fearfyul, who howled down Cowell in an attempt to keep Ffrenchisius, and Kassius Khyberius at bay. A clever twist had the packus down Earnshaw and along Tarban Creekius. Moments later Riverglade Reservium attractedCalicius Virus, just back from an immaculate encyclical ex cathedra from Myanmar with a short back and sides grey beard and wicked laugh. On his flowing toga, Centuspointus, bigger than Ben Hur, soon leapt to the lead for a roman numeral until theFlying Virginius and Flying Scotsmanius, who can leap tall basilicas in a single bound, came fluttering by. At this point,Maximus Gluteus all pumped up, found the cleverly camouflaged trail to Huntleys Cove, Henley and horror of horrors, The Hospital where Pedantic Circum*ili*gus, Goannasius, and Supergluvius came to a screeching halt. Plungerius, with son Cameronius and mate Jimmivius (like twins, only their mother can tell them apart..tnx JJ) soon spied Looking Glass Bay. Goon Shoulderius pronounced the wholus escapade a model Run, heaping praise on the two saintly setters. Such solemn declarations of the Hash’s teaching involves the infallibility of the Hash. and is an example of solemn papal pronouncements. Examples of solemn declarations by ecumenical councils are the Council of Trent’s decree on justification, and the First Hash Council’s definition of papal infallibility. “Jesus Loves You.” Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.
Moments later The Star of Thailand rose in the west and the newest saints were welcomed at a festive ceremony joined by hundreds of thousands of Hash pilgrims for the two pontiffs who helped shape 20th-century Hash history. Saint Magisterium Martyr of Mucus Music enjoined with Saint Rodney of Wagga (whose civilianus occupation is removing the odour, or stink as it known in some precincts, from faecal matter—really—see PooPourri AD attached), are soon anointed and canonised by the Supreme Pontiff by Virtue of Decree of the Heroic Saint Smegma Si-Mo Mohamed bin Frances the Sissy, miraculously descending upon the multitude immersed in the Glades of Ville. Replete with a Golden Staff consisting of a Forest Dwarf who resembled but was not, could not possibly have been, KittyKitty Litterius, and a long wooden implement, Saint Smegma Si-Mo soon had Saint Rodney of Wagga kissing his ring and fondling his Thing (see pic). Saint Mucus Music embraced him warmly at the ceremony and co-celebrated the mass with the 87-year-old Saint Rodney and hundreds of bishops and cardinals — the first time that two living popes have ever said mass together. Hashcanius Headquarterssaid 800,000 people followed the event dubbed ‘All Saints Day’, including 500,000 in and around Victoria Road Square.
Other worshipers from, dioceses, enclaves and institutes petitioned the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments for the Indult to render cultus (veneration) to the Blessed. These included the Plunger twins who were guestigates, Pontius Pilko who indefatigably devoted his desserts and savory snacks for the Hashius Liturgical Cult of Catakatoomba while slave Vivianius languished at their town villa, upon their anniversary. A rousing rendition of When the Saints go Marching towards Mecca had the congregation soaring. Then talking Things Funny, as we saith earlier, One or Two Happened on the Way to the Forum, from PeeDubius, Saint Music and TicusTocus.
The college of saints venerated, beatified, and canonized by Saint Smegma Si-Mo, the Congregation for the Causes of Saints a charism of infallibility, did bid farewell to the pilgrims through his own magisterium, with a knowing nod to the world Synod of Bishops.