Flying Scotsman & Yakkity Yak – Red Hill Mining
The Run that was full of promise but as was stated on December 8th 1941 – “a date that will live in Infamy!”
Flying Scotsman and Yakkity Yak had spent a lot of time,planning this run to be the summer run of runs at Red Hill, an area that the scribe now knows is not in GPS’ data base (Apologies to Scud and Darwin for assisting them to get lost!) We had an unusually small pack of some 34 souls with the summer storms and threat of rain and lightning no doubt causing a drop of numbers for the night.
4 X was back in full denial of his fucked knees and a welcome return by Lost Patrol after now being crowned the king of Stents after receiving 5 in the space of a month or so. Calici’s son, Sam was temporarily back in Aus after several years living in Europe and currently Paris, together with another visitor from France, “I like Your Boobs” – from the Washington DC Hash – a retired US Colonel ( Holland, Belgium, Afghanistan) now on his indexed US pension, comfortably living near the massif area of central France at the expense of the US taxpayer.
The dynamic duo, Grape and Colonel Sanders noticeably were in their final training run for their next week’s Westleigh experience and Nautilus was reliving his previous week on the brand new HMAS Canberra but still smarting that his beloved ASC built Collins submarines had been slagged by the red wine drinking Defence minister; indirectly liking them to poorly built canoes!! As the pack was readying for the run and the storm skies had cleared to blue hues, Flying Scotsman and Yakkity were beaming from ear to ear knowing that their superbly set run was about to enjoyed with the onset of fine weather and their efforts to be rewarded by an appreciative Hash – or so they thought !
The pack was off through the Red Hill reserve – “On left” Music Man proclaimed in an authoritative manner to be endorsed by an ever improving Wally Great followed by Superglue, Changi and Your Choice totally ignorant that they were following out the In- trail !! – The hare’s were totally oblivious to the disaster that was unfolding minute by minute akin to the ignomy that struck the US navy 73 years ago. Son of Calici, sprinting to the front was showing the runners a clean set of heels as the unwitting pack headed into the gathering storm of confusion and mayhem.
Meanwhile the walkers lead of Maximus Minimus, Wombat, Pedantic and a fast approaching Tic Toc were off through the beautiful, but water sodden, Red Hill bush unaware of the fact they were on the in trail -as toiled paper has no arrows.
Further along the trail, “the budding naturalists, Scud, Bigamist and Goanna fresh from their Oxford Falls education, and now with a highly tuned eye for Aboriginal art carvings had stumbled across a Rolfe Harris special – a large kangaroo with an erect penis but no British paint can”
Compliments from our site reporter – Tic Toc
As it dawned (sorry Music) upon the unsuspecting Posh that they had taken the wrong trail, total confusion and gnashing of teeth was heard across the valley and hills of the once peaceful wilderness. The peace was interrupted by a raucous utterance – “this is going to cause a fucking rebellion” as a confused and unusually frustrated Goonshow ranted in his unmistakable Oxford English. Joined by a cabal of Wally Grout, Your Choice and Music Man, the trail master was cornered in a military style manoeuvre as the foursome wanted answers – and now!
Finally, Lightning, armed with the detailed Scotsman map and fearing for his very existence, managed to sooth the ever forming disgruntled pack and pissed them off in a direction that he knew would be a long on back!! The anger was still prevalent as fading into the distance could be heard the serious melodious threats made by an unnamed Hashman that was Music to his ears – “If I was the president and On Sec I would be very very worried by this fuckup:” imagine the fear that put into the committee.
Hearing this, President Peedub was on back to the bucket to deny total responsibility for the re-orientation of the run. 
It’s nothing to do with me – talk to the On Sec.
To be sure that the ever approaching walking group did not also become confused, Lightning, still recovering from the verbal barrage thrust upon him, re-marked the in trail as the in trail and headed off into the hills of Red Hill to find any of the pack that might have been going around in circles like the mountain bike riders do during the weekend. While all this had been going on, Scotsman and Yakkity had finally cottoned onto the fact that their carefully set and planned run had gone awry and tried desperately to recover the situation; but to no avail as some of disgruntled souls headed by Scud, Pedantic, Polly Unsaturated and Moishe returned on the trail that they had embarked upon but nevertheless satisfied on being able to walk this great country so close to Sydney.
Lost Patrol didn’t care a shit and was ecstatic that he had had a successful trial run with his new piping system that had delivered a strong laminar flow performance which no doubt would please his cardiologist. Son of Calici was now totally disbelieving of Calici Virus who had assured him that when you come to a Posh Run then it will be one you will never forget – what foresight and clairvoyance from the Hash sage. Changi was waxing lyrical about the wonderful country and mountain bike complex he had uncovered and was looking forward to running the run properly next time. (watch this space!) –“ We did a terrific run” exclaimed Changi – “but nothing to do with the trail mind you”. (Note: Contra rotating circles is now a new technical word coined by Changi for Runs of this nature)
As the sun was setting on the wonderful Red Hill country side and the blood pressure and angst of some Hashmen had subsided, the small gathering sat down to feast on restaurant grade four quarter chops dutifully and ably cooked by Ayatollah and Nautilus. For once, there were no late finishers as Lightning finally gave a sigh of relief knowing full well that Spud was back next week to take the heat – thanks Lightning for bearing the brunt of abuse and holding the fort for the reinvigorated hare next week.
Down Downs were in order for the sheepish hares, Flying Scotsman and Yakitty Yak, keen to redeem themselves and to the visitors Sam, Son of Calici, Lost Patrol and I Like Your Boobs (those yanks have some strange names!). 
Finally the Melbourne Cup winnings have finally been released by Joe Hockey to help fund the national debt – 1st prize to Moishe, 2nd to Nautilus and 3rd Captain Bligh – of course no coincidence the 2nd and 3rd prize winners were committeemen!! Fine jokes from Peedub, Wombat, I Like Your Boobs and of course Tic Toc with his gay love dummy joke.
On On to next week’s Run
1. NOTE NEXT WEEKS RUN: Grape and Colonel Sanders have spent considerable effort to set a masterly run in Westleigh; which is great hashing country as experienced next door on Changi’s and Salpetre’s recent Run – with pack numbers low, try to make an effort to get to the run and of course sample Grapes wonderful cooking which is renowned
On On to Westleigh
Your Hash Journey -Brought to you by Your Choice
Distance 7.81 km
Elevation Gain 125m
Calories Burnt 629
Runs:
• Next Week’s Run No 2476 : Grape and Colonel Sanders, RFS fire station
Warrigal Dr, Westleigh West Pennant Hills
• Run No 2477 : SH3 Christmas Run December 22nd : JJ Melbourne Reserve,
Terry Hills: lock in your diaries NOW ; Superglue and Your Choice – The Posh
Christmas Run with all the Christmas trimmings including Harriettes
• Run No 2478 December 28th: Last Card Louis, 18 Tennison Avenue,
Turramurra
• Run No 2479 January 5th : New Year’s warm up at Northbridge